i created this dont judge.... π
Me: mumbles I did not understand this chapter about electricity...
My friend: Watt?
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︎ Feb 04 2021
Joke from my 10 yr old: How do hobbits judge their designs?
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︎ Feb 20 2021
What did the judge say to the dentist?
DO you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Feb 18 2021
My coworker asked me to judge their tan...
I gave it a tan out of tan.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
I made the Judge laugh so hard
I was guilty of Mans laughter.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
The owner of the Indianpolis Colts will be in trouble if he has to speak in court, because no matter what he says the judge will think...
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Judge: "So, Mr Robot. Your neighbour accused you of stealing their electricity to power yourself. How do you plead?"
The defendant who is a robot: "Guilty as charged"
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︎ Feb 11 2021
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. βFirst offender?β the judge asked.
βNoβ she replied. βFirst a Gibson , then a Fenderβ
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︎ Dec 03 2020
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the courtroom?
βOdour in the court!β
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︎ Jan 19 2021
Judge threw the book at her
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︎ Oct 25 2020
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
βIn my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl playβ
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︎ Dec 07 2020
βJudge, 50% of my parking tickets are bogus!β
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok..... Judge, half of my parking tickets are bogus!
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︎ Sep 24 2020
What do you call a judge who broke the law?
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said βyou canβt just divorce with someone for being stupidβ to which Mickey said:
βI didnβt say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofyβ
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︎ Sep 13 2020
What do you call a Judge with no thumbs?
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︎ Sep 21 2020
What kind of dinosaur judges you?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
What does a judge get with his whiskey?
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︎ Aug 06 2020
I am a judge for peanut beauty pageants
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︎ Aug 05 2020
Why did the judge set the bail so low for the ostrich charged with assault?
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Why was horse declared as innocent by the judge?
Because he de-neigh-ed everything.
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︎ Jul 10 2020
The cake shows up to the talent show and takes center stage. When the judge asks what is his talent. He replies...
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︎ Jun 16 2020
If a judge loves the sound of his own voice,
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︎ Jun 15 2020
What did the man say when he caught his wife cheating with the judge
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︎ Aug 20 2020
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
When I tried to admit new evidence to the trial, the judge threw a Granny Smith at me...
I then remembered it's an apple-late court.
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︎ Jul 24 2020
Oh look, The diction-fairy (never judge a girl by her cover) XD
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︎ Apr 23 2020
A little corny, but who am I to judge?
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︎ Oct 02 2018
I got an apiarist to judge my beauty pageant
Beauty is, after all, in the eye of the bee holder
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︎ Jul 01 2020
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︎ Jul 16 2020
Judge Dread
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︎ Mar 30 2020
Judges being Pundits
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︎ Apr 06 2020
What do judges like to wear?
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︎ Dec 29 2019
If I were a Judge,
I'd change my surname to Mental.
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Judge: I order you to pay $10,000.
Mario: Why?
Judge: It's a fine.
Mario: No, itsa not.
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Judge: Order in the court!
Me: I'll have a cheeseburger and fries
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︎ Apr 10 2020
[In court] Judge: After seeing all the evidence, I am sending you to jail.
Defendant: Say-you-did-what.
Judge: What did you say?
Defendant: Thanks for reversing my sentence.
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︎ May 07 2020
You know what I said when the 7' judge banged their gavel?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
A judge is hearing a case. 'The people V. United Parcel Service' and determines that the trucks area nuisance and a danger to the town. He decides to ban all their trucks from the town and calls his ruling:
'UPS Truck Shun of Justice'
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I noticed a Judge stress eat.
Everytime things went wrong, she yelled 'order order'.
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︎ Apr 22 2020
What did the judge say to the molar?
Do you swear to tell the tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Jan 10 2021
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom
π︎ 45
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What did the judge say to the dentist?
Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
βJudge, I want to contest 50% of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus!β
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Ok. I want to contest half of my parking tickets. I think they are bogus.
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︎ Aug 23 2020
What do you call a judge without any fingers?
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︎ Jul 20 2020
βJudge, I want to contest 60% of my parking tickets!β
Judge: Repeat infractions?
Man: Fine. I want to contest 3/5 of my parking tickets!
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︎ Oct 31 2019
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