what did the baker say when he became an umpire?


πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ‘€︎ u/McCarty_Bedell
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
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The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.

He said he didn’t want to miss any calls.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/cmk100
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Her: I’m done with you. You are way too old to be obsessed with being a tennis umpire!

Me: I’m only forty, love.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What did the British umpire say to the batter?


πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/BearDrivingCar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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When baseball players hock loogies while they argue with the umpires . . .

It’s a spit spat

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
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Never marry a tennis umpire

To them, love is nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
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I recently played in a Star Wars themed cricket match.

Every time the ball was delivered the Umpire struck back.

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yeomanroach
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I don't really understand the game of starting out calling plays for T-ball games then advancing to calling plays in the World Series...

The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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/r/baseball did not appreciate my post - I think it’s better suited here anyway

I have a bunch of stupid baseball questions. I know most of the rules, I just want to make sure I have all my bases covered.

  • Imagine there’s a fan of the team that is currently fielding in the stands, and that said fan has a prosthetic arm. The batter hits a pitch and sends it on a home-run trajectory into the stands. If the fan in the stands throws his arm at the ball and diverts it back in the field of play, can they rightfully say that they were just β€œlending the team a hand” by stopping the home run?

  • Consider the exact opposite situation - the fan’s team is at bat and the batter hits a fly ball to the outfield. If Elastagirl from the Incredibles just happened to be the fan in question, can she spring into action and catch the ball before the outfielder has the chance to?

  • Now, imagine I smuggled a water gun into the stadium on a particularly hot day, and I managed to squirt sticky black liquid onto the batter. Does that mean he can take a walk since he was β€œhit by pitch”?

  • Consider the freak circumstance where a ball in motion collides with a bird, causing it to spiral in its descent and eventually collide in turn with an umpire. Can the player responsible for the ball’s motion be ejected from the game due to repeatedly flipping the bird at an umpire?

  • Can a losing team sub out their man on the mound with a large quantity of beer to prolong the game? There’d still be a pitcher on the mound!

  • If a pitcher throws a slider into the strike zone and the batter doesn’t swing, should the umpire consider it a strike, a ball, or the catcher’s dinner?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/grumpy_princess
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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Who calls balls and strikes at the annual Vatican softball game?

The Holy Roman Umpire!

... sorry.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeowvan
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2015
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My dad got me good as a kid...

I was told this belonged here..

When I was about 13 yrs old, I was playing basketball at the rec league by my house. During one of the games, an opponent was fouled. So we are lined up waiting for him to shoot his foul shots, and my coach sends in a substitute player for me. So I'm jogging towards the bench. When I get about 10-15ft away from the bench, I tripped and slide head-first into the bench. The whole gym let's out an, "ooohhh....", and just as it gets quiet, my dad stands up on the other side of the gym and like an umpire in baseball yells, "SAFE!"

After the game, I yelled at him for it. His response... "Hey, I could've called you 'out!'"

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ‘€︎ u/beer_knurd
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2015
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A day in the major leagues

Tom Vanderbilt was this nice guy that loves to umpire the local little league games. He was good enough to make it to the major leagues. His first day umpiring behind the plate the first pitch hits the far bottom corner. Tom calls it a strike. The batter, 6'3" 275 lbs says, "you call that a strike again I'm going to pound you with this bat!" The next pitch hits the far bottom corner again. Tom calls it a ball. The catch, who is bigger than the batter turns around and yells, "you call that a ball again I'm going to pound you with this mask!" The very next pitch hits the very same spot. Tom yells, "two!" Both the batter and catcher yell, "two what?!" Tom says, "too close to call and I'm going back to the little leagues."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/197708156EQUJ5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2016
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Roger Federer and Ron Paul are playing tennis

Roger Federer and Ron Paul are playing tennis. The set is close and Federer has serve. His first delivery sailed wide, but his second serve clipped the net and just barely landed on the line. The umpire called a let.

Ron Paul started arguing with the chair ump, he was positive that the serve was out, resulting in a double fault.

Needless to say, Ron Paul is vehemently against the Federer Re-serve.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/kevo31415
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2013
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