What did the cannibal call the curry he made using the meat of Joshua - a balding Indian man?

Rogaine Josh

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/celebrationrock
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't Ruth like Joshua?

Because Joshua Judges Ruth.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rv1714
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up…

Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad.

She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What child in the bible had no parents?

Joshua the son of none

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Da-man0123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
This cracker was lost on my 2 1/2 year old this morning

Joshua: Daddy, I'm hungry

Me: Nice to meet you Hungry, I'm Austria...

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolspot80
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my wife and son. Feeling very proud.

Okay so today is payday and my wife and I were making up our budget. My son (2 years old) comes over and takes the pen trying to color on my wife's notebook. We turn it to a blank page and just let him go crazy.

He then starts trying to color on himself, marking a line on his forehead.

I take the pen and say, "No Joshua! That's where I, (looked at my wife when I said this next part) DRAW THE LINE." Wife groaned, my son wined for a bit, I laughed my ass off.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HobbyLobbyAtheist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2015
🚨︎ report
Super Bowl Edition

Dad: Since the Seahawks came out to U2 music they will win.

Me: Wal-Mart had four copies of the Joshua Tree on vinyl. What a waste.

Dad: I'll buy one tomorrow... with or without you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HawkandSon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
🚨︎ report
When I was about 9 or 10, my whole family was in my parents' bed watching cartoons. I tickled my brother and he accidentally pushed my mother out of the bed with his spastic reaction...

Pissed, she said something angry like "Joshua, be careful, you could have killed me!"

My dad didn't miss a beat: "Well it was an accident, so it wouldn't be considered mattress-cide anyway."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ottawapainters
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.