I've been swapping labels around on my wife's spice jars.
She may not know anything about it yet, but mark my words--the thyme is cumin.
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."
I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
Mi me chiama JAR JAR BINGS...
What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise?
It’s amazing how most jars look alike...
The resemblance is uncanny
What do you call a stolen jar?
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar every time I have pessimistic thoughts.
It’s currently half empty.
I dropped my jar of herbs. After I picked them all up, my cat knocked the jar over again
Picking them up yet again was such a waste of thyme
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me today...
...I was like, "What the hell-man?"
What’s the difference between a Tuna fish, a piano and a jar of Glue
You can tuna piano but you can’t piano a tuna!
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar
Just caught my kid eating mayonnaise out of the jar...
Today I went up to my coworker with a sample jar in each hand
And I said hey check this out, jar jar clinks and I clinked them together.
The other day I broke a jar and my friend asked why I did that
I replied, “you wouldn’t understand, it’s jar gone.”
My girlfriend has decided to repurpose our novelty cookie jar. Say hello to our Tea-Rex.
A jar of peanut butter needed an oil change
I'm so proud of my son, for bringing bread and a jar of peanut butter to the truck show.
After all, this is MONSTER JAM!
I gave my wife a jar of honesty
But she said it was a crock.
What do you call a folk musician, floating in a pickle jar?
What happens when you put Jar Jar Binks in a Mason jar and slightly open it?
you get a Jar Jar in an Ajar Jar.
Why was the jar about to explode?
I'm no good at opening jar lids.
I can never seem to pull it off
I relabelled the jars in our spice rack. I haven't gotten into trouble with my wife just yet...
... but the Thyme is Cumin!
My son started to panic after he dropped a huge jar of pickles and got pickles everywhere.
“Don’t worry,” I told him. “Everything’s kosher.”
Not a dad joke, but a wife joke. When is a jar not a jar?
and drinks from a space jar
Cookie jar has a lid.
Cause flies time when you're having fun.
My wife has an extraordinary ability to cook persevered food from a jar.
Did you hear the new song created using only jars of preserves?
Go throw a jar of Hellman's in the Lake!
I gave my friend a jar of cashews but the cashews abused him, beat him up and ran away.
He should have known, it was a nut case.
This tip jar at a local pizza place
I've been swapping labels around on my wife's spice jars.
She may not know anything about it yet, but mark my words--the thyme is cumin.
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Whenever I have a pessimistic thought, I put some money in it.
it's currently half empty
Whats the difference between a tuna, a piano, and a jar of glue
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna
Instead of a swear jar I have a pessimism jar, every time I have a negative thought I put a coin in.
It’s currently half empty
Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in...
It’s currently half empty...
A door can be ajar, but a jar cannot be a door.
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