How did Kim Kardashian inform her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye?
North, things between West and me has recently gone South.
Can anyone inform me on who invented knock knock jokes ?
They deserve a no bell prize
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Police officer informs a wife that her husbund has been found drowned in a vat of beer.
The wife said "was it murder"?
The officer said "no madam it was suicide"
The wife said how" can you tell"?
The police said -
"On the cctv your husbund climbed out of the vat 5 times for a pee!"
How does Chipotle' inform their customers that their order is ready?
I regress to inform you...
It is with deepest regret that I have to inform you all, my poultry dating site will be closing down,
as I can no longer make hens meet!
How did the inventor of the calendar inform his wife about his accomplishment?
He said, “Your days are numbered!”
There's only one traffic sign that informs you and launches an investigation
Bro, can you tell me a way to inform people about my campaign?
There should be a Network Television show to inform teens about the dangers of unprotected sex.
They can call it "Genital Hospital".
My mother-in-law informs me she is waiting on a knee replacement
Me: Then you'll have a faux-knee (phony).
A dad informs his son of his heritage.
A dad walks up to his son and says, "Son, I think it's about time I told you about your real heritage. You see son, you're half-Arabic." The son is very surprised: "What?! Dad, I thought we were white!"
The dad fumbles around behind his back for a minute and says, "I know it comes as a shock, but I think in time, I can help you embrace your roots." He then pulls a paper bag from behind his back and puts it on his head: "In the meantime, you can call me BAG DAD."
What do you call a fish that knows a lot of organized information?
There are 2 types of people in this world: 1: People who can extrapolate information based off of incomplete data
I asked fellow astronauts on ISS for some milk to put in my coffee but was informed I can't have any.
They said: "In space nobody can. Here, use cream"
Why can’t your orthodontist release any of your medical information?
That information is strictly confidental
A chameleon went to the doctor and said he was having trouble changing his colors. The doctor did some tests and called the chameleon. He informed the chameleon that unfortunately he was suffering from...
There are 2 types of people: 1) people who make inferences over low amounts of information
They say an informed racist is better than an uninformed racist. You know what's worse than an uninformed racist?
What do you call a well informed wolf ?
Now you just wait there a damn second friend.. a little birdie has just informed me that you are in fact a mime
Before Pterodactyls evolved, dinosaurs could only process information in Pgigadactyls
I’ve just been informed that a distant relative left me a very expensive watch in his will.
I hope it’s not a wind up
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no wifi and couldn’t find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What did the hardware store employee use to steal personal information?
I just failed my Information Technology class...
Did you know that a single sperm contains 37.5 MB of DNA information? Meaning that, during 3 seconds long ejaculation, more than 11,250 TERA bytes of information is transmitted.
That's alot of information to swallow.
My wife bought me a new shirt for my birthday!
What does a pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Where did the father store all his information?
What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
Edit: wow! I never expected this to reach such great heights..... Thank you for the awards, kind redditors.
Where do DJs get their information?
I want to share some information on cultivating herbs.
In what month was Shrek born?
Oct-ogre
(Credit to my 4-y old!)
Important information
Aruba - Cherry Pie $3.45
Bahamas - Apple Pie $2.75
Jamaica - Key Lime Pie $3.34
Saint Croix - Lemon Pie $4.21
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Informative product review
Doctor: Your brain seems to have deleted all information about 80s music!
Me: Yikes! What is The Cure?
Doctor: Oh my God. It is worse than I thought!
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
What animal is the best at keeping your medical information confidential?
Hey MC Snow, your wife’s package has been delivered.
My wife just informed me that “terrible two” refers to a kids in a specific developmental stage
And all this time that’s how I always referred to my two kids at all times
I’m reading a book on the history of glue....
I can’t seem to put it down.
I keep sending my information to the bank but they claim it’s too crooked to read.
They need to get their fax straight.
I knew what apple juice tasted like before I even tried it.
I had in-cider information.
The media are now only using email to transfer information
They don’t care about fax anymore
How did Kim and Kanye inform their kid that they were divorcing?
Sorry North, things went South.
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