Asking for fiend.
He beefriends it.
Friend fries.
I don’t know Y.
I told him, "Not show business."
I'm just asking for a friend.
Casual-teas
“He is a dick, Ted.”
At a wedding I had just met this guy Cory when he tells the waitress
Him: I need an extra plate for her (his daughter), I'm sharin'
Me: I thought you were Cory!
I guess my taste buds are now just taste acquaintances
While drinking coffee and eating dates, my roommate asked me "What were dates before they were dates?" "They were acquaintances" I replied.
I said "I hope being so close to the river doesn't make you go InSeine..."
Surprisingly, I got a pretty good laugh considering it was my first time meeting the guy. My colleague, who is more acquainted with my antics, rolled her eyes :)
I'm a second year university student. I was walking back to my room and walked into an acquaintance. We're both computer geeks more or less, and I was carrying my laptop with me. I started making some simple smalltalk when he noticed my laptop.
"Oh! Is that a Dell?"
Me: "oh!...Yeah! It's a Dell, but not the singer."
Continued to walk past, as this encounter took an entire 10 seconds at most
Random passerby that overheard in a hearty tone: "Hey! That was funny!"
Not being well-acquainted with Indian food, we ordered an appetizer at random. It was deep fried and we couldn't really tell what was in it.
Her: For all we know, we could be eating chicken eyes right now.
Me: Nah, I'm pretty sure I know how they look.
She sighed, but failed in stifling her smile.
I'm only twenty two, but I can feel the dadforce growing in me.
So my dad was talking to an acquaintance of ours, who is a landlord. My dad's acquaintance said he went in to check on one of his tenants and found him dead in his Lay-Z-Boy watching TV, remote still in hand and T.V still running. My dad's response on hearing this bit of news "Welp, I bet he wasn't watching the Life Channel"
I am well acquainted with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
Steven Wright
