True story, just happened, proud of myself: Dog starts barking furiously out of nowhere. Come to the door to see she's startled a pair of guys from a roofing company who've come to fix a hole where squirrels are getting in.
"Sorry about her. Her specialty is also roofing."
Blank stares. My talents are so wasted without kids.
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards
I'm sure that must have been a record
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
Digging holes is not fun, but making them even bigger is even worse.
What goes in one hole, and out three others?
You, putting on a t-shirt.
Digging himself a deeper hole
I drew a picture of a black hole. It sucked.
Someone dug a plethora of d’earth. Now I’ve got a hole lot of nothing.
An old friend once told me he hopes I fall into a deep hole filled with water. .
But I know he means well.
I see you've dug 3 holes looking for water
what book has the most holes?
the bible. it’s the holiest book.
I noticed my shirt had a couple of holes in it when I was getting dressed this morning.
I thought that was pretty cool, 'cuz it gave me somewhere to put my arms.
All of my socks have holes in them!
How do you think I get my feet in them?
Drilling holes is boring.
A hole was discovered in the fence around the nudist camp.
Authorities are looking into it.
I fell down a really deep dark hole today.
I couldn't see that well.
A nice rabbit hole to go into.
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says “they are knot holes”.
Miss4 says “if they are not holes, what are they?”
Moscow is the capital of black holes...
...because everything is Rushin' to them.
Say "Happy Hole-y Days" instead of "Happy Groundhog day"
So that you include other later winter hole-based celebrations.
How do you keep water in a hole in the ground until you need it?
What did the pin hole camera say when the SLR camera asked about it's aperature and exposure time when taking a picture?
My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.
This year, my friend decided to play his string instrument with a neck and a deep round back enclosing a hollow cavity, with a sound hole in the body at the voting booths...
He was arrested for ear poll-lute-tion.
I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...
DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
I think Black Holes are the most successful kleptomaniacs around...
Nothing they grab is ever returned.
What do you call a situation when you don't feel like digging holes anymore?
What do you call a guy who lives in a hole ?
Why did the wizard have a pie with a hole in it?
Why do stories have plot holes?
Like the holes in a container,
To let the the characters breathe and live.
My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.
That well escalated quickly!
No matter what kind of pasta you throw in a black hole
It all gets spaghettified.
What do you call a waffle with a hole in it?
To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas
Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.
All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together
At first it’s boring and then it’s Riveting!
My friend was explaining at length about how he was digging holes in his back yard for water.
Drilling holes is boring
I’ll just see myself out, thanks.
What do you call Pringles with a hole in the middle?
I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.
I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
my friend just told me, 'I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water'.
My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water.”
My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water."
I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.
I'm sure that must have been a record.
Do your socks have holes in them?
No?
Then how did you get your feet in them?!!
Somebody drilled a hole in the fence around the nudist colony
Authorities are looking into it.
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