Moscow is the capital of black holes...

...because everything is Rushin' to them.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CatsCreepMeowt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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How do you keep water in a hole in the ground until you need it?

Well...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dusk118
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2021
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I think Black Holes are the most successful kleptomaniacs around...

Nothing they grab is ever returned.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THOT_Patroller-13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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I've invented a new golf ball that will automatically go into the hole if it gets within 4 inches...

DO NOT carry them in your back pocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 85
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 05 2020
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My wife just yelled that I should fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth to reach a supply of water and die.

I know she means well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 188
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
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Why did the wizard have a pie with a hole in it?

He was a pie-romancer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Karim_06
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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My brother dug a hole in the ground, filled it with water then designed a moving staircase that was powered by it.

That well escalated quickly!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2020
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To catch a polar bear you surround a hole in the ice with peas

Then, when he goes to take a pea you kick him in the ice hole.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JosephsMythJr
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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I was excavating a large hole in my backyard in order to build an underground office. My neighbor wasn't too happy with the noise and wanted to come and see what all the commotion was about.

I told him to just leave me alone. After all, I'm just mining my own business.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IAMA_SWEET
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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I hired someone to dig a hole in the ground to get water...

Money well spent

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lo0220
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2020
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Somebody drilled a hole in the fence around the nudist colony

Authorities are looking into it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_Eat_Mop_Who22
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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What do you call Pringles with a hole in the middle?

Ringles.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Schnappae
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards.

I'm sure that must have been a record.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 453
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2020
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How to Catch a Polar Bear: 1)Find a frozen lake 2)Dig a hole in the ice 3)Surround the hole with frozen peas 4)Hide nearby.

When the bear stops to take a pea, kick it in the ice hole!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/banditk77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2020
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What's the sign say outside the fishing hole in Chernobyl?

Gone. Fission.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cbt711
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2020
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For whom the belt holes
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gone_Aria
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 14 2019
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"Sir, we can't find the tool for making holes and, consequently, can't proceed. What should we do?"

"It's useless. Give up. Awl is lost."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pj566
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2020
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People who aren't impressed by pictures of a Black Hole clearly don't understand the gravity of the situation.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sur5er
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 30 2019
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A lady at work commented on the holes in my jumper.

I replied β€˜Darn it Sharon’

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThinkingOz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said "It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water"

It didn't help, but I knew he meant well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HarryGoLocky
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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Did you guys hear about the old man who fell in the hole that had water in it?

Yeah i guess he couldnt see that well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rysefin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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I'm so annoyed, one of my favorite socks got a hole worn through the toe.

Darn it!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stablefish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
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The first photograph of a black hole was released

It sucks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DumplingBoiii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2019
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Some people like in Toad in the Hole, but I like my eggs a toast boat.

Unfortunately, it can only be bought in a bay kery.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperDave-1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
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Do you know your ass from a hole in the ground?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sempiterna81
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2020
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Breaking News: Last night someone drilled a hole into the fence surrounding the local nudist colony.

Police are looking into it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MisterCrispy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2020
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Ass in the hole
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sriramempire
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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They finally invented a golf ball that uses GPS signal to locate the hole, and then roll in.

Just dont put it your back pocket.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 107
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Squirrel_MD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who got stuck head first in a hole?

He had nowhere to go, butt up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vaporjo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2020
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Black holes are the biggest mass murderers

Literally

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FeZzUs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2020
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Why did the woman set her bra in front of a mouse hole?

She was setting a booby trap.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wutisthis66204
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2020
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What do you get when you dig a hole in the ground and fill it with denim?

A jean pool

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Payasin70
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2020
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The healthiest part of a doughnut Is the hole.

Unfortunately you have to eat the rest of the doughnut to get to it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/labink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2020
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Have you heard the one about the three holes in the ground filled with water? No?

Well well well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 71
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OtherwiseKnownAsSam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 01 2019
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What's the one thing you never want to find in ant holes?

Nephews

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/anaconda386
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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My first job was telling golfers how much time a scratch player should take to complete a hole on the golf course...

It was a par time job.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2020
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Someone stole my through-hole printed circuit board components and replaced them with surface mount. The police investigated..

But there are no leads.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PdSales
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2019
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My dad said the other day, when I was feeling low, 'don't worry it could be worse, you could be in a hole full of water'

I know he means well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/danl66713
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2019
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a star walks into a black hole and doesn't seemed phazed. the black hole turns to the star and says...

...i don't think you understand the gravity of the situation...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mellon_coliee
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2019
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Sometimes after work, I stop in at the local watering hole and enjoy a frosty Heifeweizen.

Depending on the day, I might even drink the whole weizen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/therealwinterzero
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2019
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I really don’t get what the big deal is with that black hole.

It sucks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redjai15
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2019
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A hole was discovered in the fence surrounding the local nudist colony

Authorities are looking into it

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2020
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My nephew said he was trying to help out when he spilled a bucket of water from the hole in the ground...

I knew he meant well.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/celticdude234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2020
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Ever hear the one about the 3 holes in the ground?

Well Well Well

πŸ‘οΈŽ 58
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MovCookie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2019
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Have you heard the one about the really deep hole in the ground?

Well... Well... Well...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 24 2019
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