How does a fir tree express its thought?

It opines

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill-Ding2112
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2022
🚨︎ report
How do trees do math?

They use a logarithm

πŸ‘︎ 513
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OKahunaSea
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2023
🚨︎ report
I auditioned for the part of a lumberjack, but I wasn't selected.

I didn't make the cut.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RemnantReturning
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2023
🚨︎ report
I pine fir the good oak days, when it was poplar to spruce up the living room with a real tree.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/und88
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Sonic the hedgehog with some ferntastic puns
πŸ‘︎ 933
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2022
🚨︎ report
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?

Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sgthawkeye9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2023
🚨︎ report
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth

Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kevindavis338
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2022
🚨︎ report
I'm not ready to take my Christmas tree down yet

It really spruces up the place

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2022
🚨︎ report
So good it'll give you wood
πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A lumberjack asks a tree if he can have some wood...

The tree responds, "What Fir?"

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KABOOM3EP
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a tree decides to overthrow the government?

Treeson

πŸ‘︎ 270
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/barium62
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2022
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fir tree that knows king fu?

Spruce Lee

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VadeRetroLupa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
I remember as a kid my dad got fired from his job as a road worker fir theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing but when i got home, the signs were all there.
πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bignate1213
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I just found a dog, it’s name is Douglas fir
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bcowburn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
One fir all... imgur.com/a/eBEvy
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/never7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2017
🚨︎ report
My woodworking skills go all the way back to my high school days.

I was even voted most poplar.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Major-Dingus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2022
🚨︎ report
Two trees met on tinder

They are now kindling a romance.

πŸ‘︎ 602
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoamingRonin1988
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2022
🚨︎ report
My wife shot me with the nail gun today

She must think I’m a stud

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yenserl6099
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2022
🚨︎ report
two planks of wood were sitting on a couch

One said "can we do somthing, I'm board"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
🚨︎ report
I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork...

I think I nailed it but nobody saw it.

πŸ‘︎ 410
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frog_girl123
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2022
🚨︎ report
I wanted to joke about the trees

But everyone leaves already before I started

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MRV3N
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2022
🚨︎ report
father goes to his missing son Fir

Indian dad: "My son is missing!"

Police: "FIR likhwaani padegi. How would you describe him?"

Dad: "Not half as good as Sharma ji's son"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arunnegi00111
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2017
🚨︎ report
It's a work in progress.
πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Extra-Act-801
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2022
🚨︎ report
If anyone could truly appreciate my arboreal pun...

Yew wood

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome__wow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2022
🚨︎ report
The tree wanted to try something new.

So he's turning over a new leaf.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Is my friend good enough for the big leagues (for puns)?
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misspygmy
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister is a dad

Talking about some dead trees in her back yard

"It just killed the evergreens...

Now they're everbrown."

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StillUnbroke
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2015
🚨︎ report
It's a shame there aren't more jokes for arborists...

I guess they aren't a very poplar.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/XOIIO
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did the king keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffrsnbgh
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œHow long have you been chopping wood for?”

β€œNot sure. Let me check the logs.”

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a dog and this evergreen tree have in common?

Both are fir and bark

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RoamingRonin1988
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2022
🚨︎ report
Good one from my dad: "I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Came up during a conversation about having a bonfire

Dad "Here's something you might not have known about me, I can cut wood by just looking at it"

Me, fully expecting a dad joke: "I don't believe you but would you care to elaborate"

Dad: "Its true! I saw it with my own eyes"

He giggled to himself for about 10 minutes after that one.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sb95500
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend is giving away evergreen trees...

I was like, "fir free?""

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Ugly Sweater on the Christmas Tree say?

...

"I'm here ^fir the party. Let's ^spruce things up"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Best_Poetry_5722
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I met my girlfriend at forestry school. She left me...

....and now, I pine fir her.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2021
🚨︎ report
A tree surgeon’s girlfriend broke up with him.

He pined fir her fir months.

Knock on wood, they will someday get back together.

(Sorry, this joke wasn’t great... just oak-kay.)

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScottyUrb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
For six days of the week, I appreciate oak trees.

The other day? That's a firs day.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebigeyedduck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife made me get an artificial Christmas tree last Christmas.

It's just not Fir.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gwailo27
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Got my friend after he made a spelling mistake while texting and I don't think he even realised.

Friend: My gym membership feels like such a waist atm

Me: Do you not think it's hip to go to the gym any more?

Friend: I think I ain't got time with a new born

Me: Can you not stomach it?

Friend: Well I got to do school runs and that fir the time being and K in the morning and Liam in the afternoon then home dinner putting kids down time is just gone

Me: Yeah, I've got a gut feeling you won't be working out as much as you used to anymore

πŸ‘︎ 181
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyJ3DY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
🚨︎ report
Trash men

Landed this on my six year old yesterday

Looks like the trash men are outside arguing. How do you know Dad? I just heard one of them yell this job is garbage!

Lost on him. But I have been laughing fir a day

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alonepoe
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What does the forest put in its house?

Fir-nature.

My 5 year old told this at dinner. Either she heard it somewhere or I need to enroll her in Comedy school. What's the verdict?

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mitks07
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
🚨︎ report
I finally realized why trees don’t have teeth.

Turns out, they’re all bark and no bite.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.