A list of puns related to "English Teachers"
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
But apparently you're not allowed to end a sentence with a proposition.
Dad: "I think you mean May I"
After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense
They're both pro-grammars
“Metaphors be with you”!
They're, there, their.
His words, not mine.
Thesaurus
nnnnnNNNNOOOOUUUUUNNNNNnnnn
A synonym roll
It was D-grading.
unpossible
I am pro-verb
A programmar.
It’s good exercise for the colon.
I was working on the new vocabulary list that he gave us yesterday when I noticed that he had put the word, “expendable” two times. I got up and asked him about it.
“Yeah,” he said. “I didn’t mean to do that. But now you know that one of them is expendable.”
He was very passive aggressive
Synonym rolls
Ibeproofreadin'
When someone asks can they go to the bathroom he would say "if you can't urine trouble"
'How?' he asked.
I said, 'At the bottom of my son's homework you put 'A for effort' when clearly it starts with an E.'
It was really Lit.
He told me I was to discuss ting
he had a vowel movement...
Short story we're reading is about an alcoholic.
Teacher begins by saying: "Drink responsibly, I only drink on special occasions (jokingly)."
Me: "Is your favorite drink a Tequila Mockingbird?"
insert class groan
We were talking about senior superlatives and one category was most changed since 9th grade.
My friend: I should get that, I've grown 2 feet since 9th grade
Teacher: What did you have before? 2 stumps?
So I ask him, "Are you a Jets fan?"
He replies, "No, I am more of a small air conditioner"
I said I prefer Green tea!
This was one of her favorite jokes she loved to tell: One day, a man was walking home after a long day at work. As he waited for a crosswalk signal, he glanced back and noticed a coffin standing down the block. "Odd," he thought, but he ignored it and continued home. He turned the corner and managed to catch a glimpse of the coffin again. This time is was closer to him... like it was following him. He picked up his pace and ran into his apartment complex. The coffin was right behind him. In a fright, he dashed up the stairs to his place, locked the door and barricaded himself in the bathroom. Thud, thud, thud! The coffin was banging on the bathroom door. The man frantically looked for something to defend himself. Just as the coffin busted through the door, the man grabbed some cough syrup from the medicine cabinet, threw it at the coffin ... and the coffin stopped.
So today my english teacher was going to test how much vocab we memorized, for the SAT exam if you're wondering, and he asked one student how many did he memorize. The guy answered saying about 300. The teacher replied what can you do with just 300, And then i couldn't hold it and replied "A movie"
Not all the students were present yet, so he asked "Where are the others?"
"On a cow."
He took a second to get it and then groaned.
So they could make a play on words.
On the topic discussing our upcoming mid-terms. Student: "what's the essay going to be on?" Teacher: "on a sheet of paper of course, what else would it be on?"
The teacher and I were the only ones laughing for a few minutes
...she asked where he got it from. He said he got it from his little brother's elemenrty school and they sold treats to kids. My teacher was shocked by this, she then asked "Are they nuts?!?!?" To which I reply "No they're suckers.". Typical dad joke reactions ensued and I was satisfied.
My 8th grade English teacher was a huge dad-joker, even though he was like 25 at the time (this was 3 years ago)
He was playing at his desk with a ton of rubber bands, making them taut then flicking them to hear their vibration. I asked him what he was doing. He replied, "Creating the first song to my new band, we call ourselves the Rubber Band."
Not the best, but I certainly groaned.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter, he won't come anyways.
She got a full sentence
They're, there, their.
She got a full sentence.
However, you can't end a sentence with a proposition
But you can’t end a sentence with a preposition
He got the full sentence
She got a full sentence.
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