A high school teacher
An Oxford Coma
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.
To a degree, yes.
Checklist: a tool for ensuring coverage of a subject can be completed with a check mark of some form, for instance, a cross, a tick, etc.
Ticklist: someone who is tickling you.
Finally a turn in the right direction.
For a teacher who keeps working in the end times. i'll put mine in the comments so people can tell me which are bad :p
But are experts in Crash Courses
He Ames to get a good education.
“Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”
An educated guess
That makes cents.
It was a third degree burn.
A dogtor
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
Because sin90 = cot45
It's an integral part of education.
My Korea is over
because they've got more degrees
Because the have got more degrees !
( Read this one in an old book ! )
He replied confused and worried, "How does that work? Your education is on the line!"
A Scholarship ;]
It was called Dungeons and Dragons.
...but don't worry, everything's going to be A-OK!
Guess I wont stop beating him then...
Al Gore Rhythms...
English Lit.
An oxymoron.
I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad; I'm a Hartford teacher.
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The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
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A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
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The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
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Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, I’ve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, I’m positive.
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
I even graduated at the top of my class.
but I found it a little derivative
Macademia!
“Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will.”
