Why did the retired doctor get easily upset?
Because he has no patients.
(For Star Trek dads) Locutus of Borg redid his kitchen floor. A bit of it didn't come up easily, though...
The resistance was a few tiles.
Why do plants propagate so easily? Because they have a lot of stem cells.
Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.
In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".
There's a type of mushroom I bring everywhere, to dinner parties, bball games, work, they easily fit in my pocket
They're called portablebellos.
Did you know that Mrs. Doubtfire could have just as easily have been another title
'Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad'
My friend keeps his rare coin collection where it could easily be stolen.
I mean, he has no common cents.
Well this phone will break easily, Case Closed.
My friend lied about creating a cloth that can easily be ripped to remove sleeves...
It was a tearable fabrication!
I have this tin can that’s translucent and never seems to fill up when I put things into it. Its top has smooth edges so it never cuts my fingers and it opens easily without a can opener...
What do you call an easily breakable diamond?
Why do corrupt politicians learn to play the harp so easily?
They're good at pulling strings.
I can easily buy a Xiaomi phone in Asia
This one time, all the rooms in a hotel were booked. But then comes this one guy, who asks for a room, in the same hotel, and gets one easily.
Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.
I told you they would easily break, case closed.
Inspecting mirrors is a job I could easily see myself doing
Why was the Welsh Mafia stopped so easily?
As soon as they were put into a lineup, everyone sang.
Why are karate instructors easily upset
People say having a missing toe makes you more easily agitated with people, but honestly I’m more chill.
Guess I Lack toes and Tolerant
Julie Andrews will not endorse that popular vibrant shade of lipstick. She says it breaks too easily and gives her bad breath. Her official statement on this........
The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis.
My wife tells me that our sex life is weird, mostly because I get easily distracted.
Guess I better get back to it.
Why do mathematicians get on their nerves easily?
You can easily make money by collecting helium and selling it for a dollar per pound.
No weight, that doesn't make any cents...
Did you know you can bite through your finger as easily as a carrot?
I didn't even know that carrots could bite!
For years people have mocked how easily I get cold.
Well, now the gloves are off.
I watched a really thrilling documentary about how easily humans become distracted.
It kept me on the edge of my toilet seat.
Why are paraplegic people so easily offended?
What do you call dentures who are easily offended?
I'm easily overwhelmed by camping trips
To be honest, I prefer a holiday that's less in tents.
I'm not easily annoyed.
But X-Rays really get under my skin.
If my kid is easily amused with a mirror, does that mean he will self distract?
Temperature rising can be explained very easily
"climate" goes up, "abseilmate" goes down.
I easily fixed my broken clock
What kind of toilet clogs easily?
I have a beautiful lawn. My friend saw it and said it was so beautiful that I could easily sell it for thousands.
After some time I finally decided...
...
Sod it.
Anyone should easily be able understand communism...
It's literally common cents
Scientists discovered a new species of arctic bears, most easily identified by their fastidious teeth-cleaning activities
They're called Molar Bears
Walking with a friend. He says I tan easily, I am part Indian, Eskimo in fact.
The sickness that isn't easily cured.
I kept forgetting to post this here, it's been years since this happened, but...
While sitting out on the back porch with my parents and some of their friends as they sip on drinks, my mom kicks my dad by accident and immediately says "Sorry, sorry, it's my restless leg syndrome."
My dad quickly but smoothly replies, "That's ok honey, you put up with my restless middle leg syndrome."
Groans were had among the wives while laughs were had among the dads. I was left in shock for a few minutes while I tried to remove that image from my head.
My dad got me with this one, easily the crown of his week.
So I love orange juice, but I hate how it tastes after having brushed my teeth. So I asked my dad, "Do you know how I can drink orange juice after brushing my teeth?" And since he knows a few good home remedies like that, he says sure, and to follow him to the bathroom.
He has me brush, and as I'm doing that, he explains how the toothpaste does what it does, the chemicals involved, so forth. He then takes me to the kitchen and pours me a glass of orange juice, beginning to explain why the two react and such, and says, "here, see for yourself. " So I take a drink, and of course, its disgusting, and I spit it out.
"And THAT is how you drink orange juice after brushing your teeth."
You can easily make money by collecting helium and selling it for a dollar per pound.
No weight, that doesn't make any cents...
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
