A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a doctors office...

...the nurse asks the rabbit, β€œwhat blood type are you?”

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a type O.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kitten-McSnugglet
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
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A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, β€œDoctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”

The doctor looks at him and says, β€œSorry, I don’t follow you."

πŸ‘︎ 790
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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A man walks into the doctor's office

"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.

"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.

"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.

"Like a glove."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..

.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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A local contractor hired a pasta chef to redo the interior of a doctor’s office that studies antibiotics.

The inside looks great! They have a penne ceiling.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samwyzh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"

And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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A guy walks into his doctors office saying, β€œHelp me, doctor, I’m shrinking.” β€œHold on,” says the doctor,

β€œBe a little patient.”

πŸ‘︎ 737
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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My dad was telling me about his doctor’s appointment today. He needed to get some vaccines, but because of Covid he would have to go to the office and they would give them to him in his car.

He said he was going to be involved in a drive by shooting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoDragonWang
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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After waiting for an hour at the doctor's office the nurse came by and said sorry for the wait...

To which I replied, "No problem, I'm patient."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Doctor! Doctor! there is an invisible man in your office.

Nurse tell him i can't see him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaoskrim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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What did the doctor say when everybody left his office extremely slowly?

"I'm losing my patience!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KingPinTony
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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My husband walked into the proctologists office, and I knew then that the doctor must have a child as well when I heard the words from the other side of the door,

>Here comes the plane!

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
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"Hello is this the Doctor's Office? I'd like to book an appointment"

"Of course. What about Ten tomorrow?"

"No I don't need that many"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/generalofbread
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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A man leaps into the Doctor's office, flashlight in his mouth, both hands behind his back, screaming "It's the mawkew! Oh God the Mawkew!!...

...I fell on my awt supplies and it went stwaight up my wectum"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ahughman
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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A patient goes into a doctor's office for examination...

Doctor: On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain are you experiencing?

Patient: Ο€

Doctor: pi?

Patient: Low level, but never ending

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JerfDaRerf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
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A man walked to the doctors office

The man says:" doctor, my hands don't stop shaking."

The doctor asked:"have you been drinking?"

Then the man replied:"no, I can't, because I spill all of it. "

A joke my dad told me

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/urihagever
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2020
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A chubby Mandalorian steps on the scale at the doctor's office. The nurse reads it and says, "215 lbs." Mando sternly replies "180 pounds..."

"this is the weigh."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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What made the tongue sad at the doctor’s office?

The doctor brought out the tongue depressor

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/El-Waffle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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A man burst into a doctor's office and began asking all sorts of strange questions to the people waiting inside. When the doctor asked him to stop, he didn't. The doctor replied

You're really testing my patients.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrionHunter66
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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A man walks into his doctor's office

With a large, painful lump under his armpit. In a slight panic, the man asks the doctor if there's any way he can help by informing him of what the massive growth is.

The doctor looks carefully and slightly questioning his diagnosis says, "A cyst?"

"Right", says the man, "I'd love to know what the hell this thing is and if you can help me with it".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ANoiseChild
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
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My eye doctor’s office is at the shopping mall.

She’s an Opthemallogist

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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A person with a very blocked nose walks into a doctors office

The doctor says: "So, you're having mucus problems?"

The person replies: "perhaps, perhap snot"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Cosmic_Kitten
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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So I walked into doctor’s office and said β€œDoc can you help me out ?β€œ

He said β€œSure, which way did you come in?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A98HondaCivic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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A 600 pound man went to the doctor's office today

His nutritionist advised him to either start a new diet or exercise more but the man couldn't outweigh his options

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πŸ‘€︎ u/McDiddy2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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A woman walks into a doctor's office with a frog on her head. Slightly taken aback, he tells her to sit and asks, "What would happen to be your ailment?"

"Well doc, there would appear to be a woman stuck to my butt."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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A man ran through the waiting room, barged into the doctors office and said "Doctor, help me quick I've swallowed a pool ball."

The doctor looked at him crossly, pointed out of the door and said "get to the end of the cue!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blarty97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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A man walks into the Drs office with a duck on his head. The doctor says "What can I do for you today?" The duck says "Doc, can you get this guy off my tail?"
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thalpal317
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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A man walks into a doctor's office with celery in one ear, peas in the other, and a carrot up each nostril, and says "Doc, I don't feel well". The doctor replies "It's because you aren't eating right."
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thalpal317
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, "Doctor, I believe I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor calmly replies, "Go sit in the waiting room, please, I'll be dealing with you later." short-funny.com/best-puns…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2017
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I had to leave office yearly because i had an appointment to meet a horse doctor

I have no idea how that horse became a doctor

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/no_one_cares4u
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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A man walks into a doctor’s office...

and says”Doc, I think I’m addicted to Smash Mouth.”

The doctor asks β€œHow can you tell? Have you had any symptoms?”

The man replied β€œSOME...”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Nope_TSS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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My pregnant wife and I were on our way out of the doctor's office

And the receptionist was trying to schedule our next appointment, which was a routine check up. "We'll get you in and out real quick," she said. I turned to her and said, "that's what got us into this mess in the first place."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2015
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A man went into a doctors office to ask about his sore stomach

The doctor said β€œquit your belly aching”

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LargeHamster69
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I want to open a doctors office with a nail salon inside.

It’ll be called β€œMany Cures and Manicures”

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/macgruder1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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I went to the doctor’s office and started yelling, β€œTyphoid! Measles! Flu!”

I always like to call the shots.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
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Visit to the Doctor’s Office

Carol hated going to the Doctor’s office, she was afraid she would see he ex-Ray.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Augusta_Wynd
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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Receptionist at my doctor's office: "Someone will call you shortly "

Me: "I prefer to be called 'Robert'"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2018
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A man barges into the doctor’s office and says β€œDoc, you’ve got to help me! I’ve turned invisible!!”

β€œI’m sorry,” the doctor replies, β€œbut I can’t see you right now.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/choochoopants
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Why is there no new guy at the animal doctor’s office?

Because they’re all vets

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rynbertb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
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My child was acting up at the doctor’s office.

I said, β€œBe a little patient.”

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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A man is at the doctor's office...

The doctor comes in and says "Well sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to stop masturbating".

The man says "Really, why?"

The doctor says "Because I have to examine you".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/galenm4
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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A man was in the doctors office

He had broken is arm and was finally getting his cast removed and he said to the doctor β€œwill I be able to play guitar doctor?” and the doctor replied β€œof course sir!”. β€œWow, that’s an amazing” treatment” said the man, β€œbecause I couldn’t play it before”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PcityJimmy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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Doctor's office

So I go into the dr. office, tell the receptionist my name and say "I have an appointment with the doctor."

She says "Which doctor?"

I say "No, just a regular one..."

Get it? Witch Doctor...

πŸ‘︎ 262
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skinner70
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
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What does an over-eager doctors’ office with no walk-ins or appointments need?

Patients

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/halfpeeledbanana
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2018
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a doctors office. β€œWhat seems to be the problem?” Asks the doc. β€œIt’s... um... well... i have five penises.” Replies the man. β€œBlimey!” Says the doctor, β€œhow do your trousers fit?” β€œLike a glove.”
πŸ‘︎ 271
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SvenTranslator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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A man walks into a doctors office. "What seems to be the problem'P" Asks the doc. um... well... I have five penises," replies the man. "Blimey!" Says the doctor "how do your trousers fit?"

"Like a glove."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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