Diner Puns

There’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

Stake and eggs (sunny side up, of course)

..Deficiteroles

"And make it snappy."

They call it the señor citizens’ discount.

What a bunch of Balogne

It was the wurst

Turns out it was fresh ground.

And “Pop!” goes the weasel.

It was counter intuitive.

Great food, No atmosphere.

She gave me the crepes!

She said, "A nein out of ten."

I said "hey waiter, this coffee tastes like mud".

He said "that's weird, it was just ground this morning"

And I'm dancing to a song when my mom asks me if this is my "jam". Without hesitation I pointed to the stack of strawberry jam packets and said "No, THIS is my jam!"

You guys trained me well :')

My gf and I were watching the food network when Guy Fieri comes on for a commercial. I start to rant about my general annoyance with him.

Me: "... yada, yada, yada... his hair just makes me..."

GF: "Fieri-ous?"

I had to stop mid rant because that was pretty good! I think my girlfriend became a dad.

"Dad, can we have an ice cream sundae?"

"Not today. It's Saturday."

He laughed.

Waitress asks: "How would you like it?"

Dad: "You know, on a bun."

He asked if he could get them and said "I've always wanted bear feet." "Fine," I said, "take off you shoes." He did, smiling. Next, I told him "take off your socks." He excitedly eyed the slippers as he pulled off his socks. When he finished, I said "there, now you have bare feet." My wife just sighed and shook her head.

My mom decided to get a gyro, and in the process of eating it, some of the cheese fell on the table. Dad said we shouldn't worry about it. "Why not?" "Because it isn't real."

At this point we still had no idea what was coming. "Why isn't it real, dad?"

"It's Counter-feta."

Host: Table for 3?

Dad: We'll take a table in the corner.

Sits down

Dad: Boy, this place sure is cozy.

Friend #1 examines the butter

F1: I don't think this is real butter...

F2: It's butter than nothing!