Lamp oil, it'll brighten them up instantly.
One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
So I removed the whole mirror.
I havenβt looked back since.
It wasn't very bright
We ate sum dim sum and den sum
I ended up with dim sum.
It was an act of wonton violence.
Patient: Doctor, I keep having this awful dream. I'm in a dimly lit room, in front of a door with writing on it, and i'm pushing and pushing and the door just won't open!
Doctor: What does the writing say?
Patient: Pull.
Wonton
It is called dim and dimmer
It will be called "All You Can Eat and Dim Sum"
Apparently they enjoy dim sums in the morning
I'm going to try the meatballs next time.
I have a bright idea
...you dim sum, you lose some.
He wasn't bright enough.
I know that cops take a dim view of domestic violets.
so I asked if they could dim sum.
Otherwise I'd have some pretty dim innuendos.
"Hi. My name is Robert if you need anything."
"Great. What's your name if we don't need anything?"
Robert: "Would you like more soda, sir?"
Dad: "Yes. Please."
Robert takes the glass and walks away to refill it.
Dad: "That's less soda, not more!"
Me: "Let's get more [tortilla] chips."
Dad smashes the last chip into hundreds of pieces. "There. More chips."
Edit: When the lights in the restaurant are dimmed.
Dad: Uh oh! Prices just went up!
(Who ordered the ambiance?)
You dim sum, you lose some.
Our daughter is four months old.
The other day while my wife and I are laying in bed and she's trying to sleep while I am still redditing:
Her: can you dim your phone? It's bright Me: well, it is a smart phone, after all
I giggled, she sighed. I'm so proud
You know what they say: You dim sum, you lose some.
The food was great, service was excellent. It was just rather dark in there. I'm not quite sure what the register displayed as the amount I needed to pay. It was a pretty dim sum.
Dim Horton!!
He apologized profusely, but I just told him, "You dim sum, you lose some."
Person 1: Iβd like it brighter Person 2: Iβd like it dim sum
When Harry Met Salad
What About Ke-Bob
Cumin to America
Weekend at Bearneaise II
Steakin I, II, & III
A Few Good Salmon
Youβve Got Kale
Shawshank Re-Dim Sum
Romancing the Scone
An Γclair to Remember
Roman Hollandaise
Glazed and Confused
Bill & Tedβs Eggcellent Adventure
The Evil Bread
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Shrimp
Fondue the Right Thing
Ribeyes Wide Shut
Mignons
Plante of the Grapes
Spider Manchu
Sushis All That
A Wok to Remember
Marsala-la Land
Apocalypse Cow
Die Chard
Die Chard with a Vinaigrette
Hoganβs Gyros
The Sand Latkes
A League of their Macaroni
Revenge of the Curds
Rush SβMore
Braising Arizona
Demolition Ham
10 Things I hate About Ewe
Saladin
Oliver and Com-penne
Dirty Rotten Chanterelles
Sex and the Satay
The Truth About Cats & Hotdogs
Morella Enchanted
Provolone Together
Clear and Pheasant Danger
The Big Chili
LΓ©mon: The Professional
Ava-Tartare
Hocous Pocous
High Fi-Deli Meat
Madagascargot
The Fifth Elementos
Muensters Inc.
Thereβs Something About Rosemary
I Am Ham
Quiche Lorraine Man
Barley & Me
Lentil Giants
Peggy SoufflΓ© Got Married
Face Stroganoff
Con GruyΓ©re
Fast Times at Porridgemont High
Bok Choys in the Hood
Papillonion
Requinoa for a Dream
Serial Cardamom
Iβm not sure what they do to the lights but I think they dim some
So I asked them to dim sum.
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...
- Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
- Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
- See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
- Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
- Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
- Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
- I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
- I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
- It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
- I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
- This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
- staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
- He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
- Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
- Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Puns for Kids
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasnβt chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? βMy Fare, Ladyβ.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physicianβs garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
βWhatβs purple and 5000 miles long?β βOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!β
Every calendarβs days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. βFour bucks,β says the bartender. βPut it on my bill.β
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When heβs a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle canβt stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit β‘Maybe its just dim sum
.. The bar is dimly lit, and he sees no one in sight. Then he hears a voice: "Hey good lookin'" Just then, the bartender comes around the corner, "Hello, sir. How are you today?" "I'm doing great, but I swear I just heard a voice..?" "Oh, those are the peanuts. They're complimentary."
The day was starting to look dim.
If I had an Asian restaurant, it would either be called 'Sum Ting Good' or 'Asian Food and Dim Sum.'
At play rehearsal we were blocking out a scene, the director explained during this particular scene the lights on one portion of the stage would dim to highlight the two with solos. One cast member asked, "When the lights go dim on us, do we freeze?" one of the older fellows in the cast cut in, "No, we'll still have the heat on." Loved it.
Edit: play rehearsal
Mom: your aunt says that Chinese food place is the best in town. She said they have the best dim sum in town, but I doubt it, she doesn't know good Chinese food.
Me: you dim sum you lose sum
Silence as eyes rolled
...to find his house with the lights dimmed down and candles surrounding the bed in the bedroom. He finds his wife there, laying abroad with sexy panties and a pink bra, and her bangs covering her left eye. She smiles. "Tonight," she says. "Is going to be the sexiest and most passionate night of your life, sweetie." The husband smiles as his wife gets up and unties his tie for him, and unbuckles his pants. He can't wait. "Lets try role playing." she says. "I'll be your slutty little daughter, and you'll be my father who needs to teach me... discipline..." He grins widely, liking where this is going. His wife grabs him and pulls him down to the bed. She whispers in his ear. "I'm so horny..." The husband enjoys this and decides to follow along with the role playing. He then whispers back in her ear. "Hi, horny. I'm dad."
Q: How do Hong Kongers cozy up? A: They dim some.
My dad is visiting the city I live next week and asked me for some recommendations. I said there is one bar that I really like that is very dimly lit and has stone walls, so I recommended it but said in a lack of being able to think of a better adjective, that it was kinda "cellar-y". He said thanks, but he prefers his bar experiences to be more carroty.
So I removed the whole mirror.
I havenβt looked back since.
Otherwise I'd have some pretty dim innuendos.
