I danced around dealing with my obsession for years...
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︎ Aug 23 2017
Who danced with the skeleton at the Halloween party?
No one. He had no body to dance with.
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︎ Aug 28 2018
Last night I spilled a bunch of small thumbtacks, then danced to the beat of them hitting the floor
That's right; I got down to brass tacks.
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︎ May 30 2017
A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.
He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".
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︎ Jan 14 2021
Berty Dancing.
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︎ Dec 23 2020
Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?
Because they have two left feet
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︎ Dec 29 2020
I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.
I had the time of my life.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
When does a farmer dance?
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︎ Nov 12 2020
My kids started dancing while cleaning up the house.
It was some pretty good chore-eography.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
I tried to teach my dog to dance today...
He's hopeless. He's got two left feet.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Did you know that bees communicate by dancing?
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︎ Dec 14 2020
"How do you make a tissue dance?
"You put a little boogie in it."
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︎ Dec 07 2020
wife says she's going to dance on my grave when i die
that's ok i'm getting buried at sea
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I have a dancing fish
The only problem is that it only does it once and lasts about 20 seconds
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Thought I heard someone say βHelloβ in Arabic
But it was a false Salaam.
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︎ Dec 16 2020
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
(My husband told this joke to our four year old and she canβt stop laughing.)
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︎ Nov 26 2020
Why didnβt the skeleton go to the dance?
He had noβbodyβ to dance with
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 05 2020
Who did Fankenstein take to the dance?
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︎ Oct 27 2020
A man walks in to a bar. On the bar is a duck tap dancing on a biscuit tin.
He is amazed and wants to buy the duck.
The man refuses at first but eventually agreed.
As the man walks out of the bar the now owner of the duck shouts.
Excuse me how do i stop the duck tap dancing.
Simple says the man lift up the tin and blow out the candle......
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︎ Oct 07 2020
Did you hear about the dancing bird?
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︎ Oct 22 2020
What music genre do chickens like to dance to?
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︎ Oct 20 2020
I was drinking and dancing at this club for hours and hours when I dropped my watch
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︎ Oct 15 2020
My 9 month pregnant wife is ready to have our child any day now, but they just wonβt come. Sheβs tried everything she can at this point. Sex, walking, dancing, spicy foods, etc... So when I asked her what I could do to help she said βany means necessary.β
To which I replied βNo it doesnβt.β
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︎ Sep 06 2020
What do social media and dancing former vice presidents have in common?
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I just went to go visit my late grandmother buried in the cemetery, but when I went there I found her dancing!
It was quite the Plot Twist
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︎ Oct 07 2020
If it's safety dance!
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︎ Aug 18 2020
I was dancing with a woman in a bar and things were getting heated.
"Want to go back to my place?" I asked.
"Of course," she replied.
I said, "Here are the keys. Make sure you let the dog out for a shit."
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︎ Sep 08 2020
Iβm writing a Spanish song about how I dance more than anyone.
I call it βBailamostβ.
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
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︎ Jun 27 2020
This week on Dancing With the Tsars
Ivan was Terrible, Peter & Catherine were Great, and Boris was Godunov.
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Learning to Ballet dance
That'll keep you on your toes
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︎ Aug 18 2020
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.
She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally, he gets his suit. HeΒ decides to buy flowers, so he goesΒ to the flower shop. The flower shopΒ has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilΒ he finally buys flowers. He picks up the girlΒ and they go to the dance. There is a long lineΒ into the dance, so they wait and wait. Finally,Β they get into the dance, and the guy offersΒ to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,Β so he goes to the drink table, and there isΒ no punch line.
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︎ Jun 24 2020
Why are highschool dances such a joke?
The punchline is too long
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︎ Aug 24 2020
(Got this one from my 4 year old) how do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
Never been more proud
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︎ Jun 12 2020
Why couldn't the programmer dance to the song?
Because he didn't get the... algo-rhythm...
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︎ Jul 05 2020
What is the cookie's favorite dance at the wedding?
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︎ Aug 18 2020
Why are cows bad at dancing?
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︎ Feb 23 2020
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
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︎ Jun 18 2020
Why couldnβt the skeleton dance?
It had no body to dance with
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Did you know bees communicate by dancing?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 18 2020
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 24 2020
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it
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︎ Oct 15 2020
How do you make a hankerchief dance?
Put a little boogie in it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 05 2020
How do you make a tissue dance?
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 28 2020
How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 23 2020
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 25 2020
How do you make a Kleenex dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
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︎ Aug 12 2020
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