I danced around dealing with my obsession for years...
πŸ‘︎ 988
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ducksarewitches
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Who danced with the skeleton at the Halloween party?

No one. He had no body to dance with.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johannes101001
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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Last night I spilled a bunch of small thumbtacks, then danced to the beat of them hitting the floor

That's right; I got down to brass tacks.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2017
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A man recently ran up to me announcing that he was a primary color, then instructed me to perform a modern dance trend on the fourth letter of the alphabet and food coloring.

He said "I'm blue, dab a D, dab a dye".

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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Berty Dancing.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Why is it so difficult to train dogs to dance?

Because they have two left feet

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_dance_with_fire
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I finally watched Dirty Dancing for the first time.

I had the time of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
When does a farmer dance?

When the beet drops.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCraay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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My kids started dancing while cleaning up the house.

It was some pretty good chore-eography.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EzekiahHopkins
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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The Hammer Time dance should be considered a ball room dance.
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I tried to teach my dog to dance today...

He's hopeless. He's got two left feet.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Did you know that bees communicate by dancing?

Huh, how bees are....

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
"How do you make a tissue dance?

"You put a little boogie in it."

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PersonWalker
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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wife says she's going to dance on my grave when i die

that's ok i'm getting buried at sea

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrEpididymis
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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I have a dancing fish

The only problem is that it only does it once and lasts about 20 seconds

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Revdown
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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Thought I heard someone say β€œHello” in Arabic

But it was a false Salaam.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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How do you make a Kleenex dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

(My husband told this joke to our four year old and she can’t stop laughing.)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TiffanyOddish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?

He had no”body” to dance with

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/URLcrazy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Who did Fankenstein take to the dance?

His Ghoulfriend.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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A man walks in to a bar. On the bar is a duck tap dancing on a biscuit tin.

He is amazed and wants to buy the duck. The man refuses at first but eventually agreed. As the man walks out of the bar the now owner of the duck shouts. Excuse me how do i stop the duck tap dancing. Simple says the man lift up the tin and blow out the candle......

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Did you hear about the dancing bird?

He was very Talonted

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsDomDom1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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What music genre do chickens like to dance to?

Bawk n’ Roll

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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I was drinking and dancing at this club for hours and hours when I dropped my watch

I lost track of time

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwwwwwwYeahhhhhhh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My 9 month pregnant wife is ready to have our child any day now, but they just won’t come. She’s tried everything she can at this point. Sex, walking, dancing, spicy foods, etc... So when I asked her what I could do to help she said β€œany means necessary.”

To which I replied β€œNo it doesn’t.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreshStartGo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What do social media and dancing former vice presidents have in common?

Al Gore Rhythms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sam_v_s
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I just went to go visit my late grandmother buried in the cemetery, but when I went there I found her dancing!

It was quite the Plot Twist

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickycthatsme
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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If it's safety dance!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I was dancing with a woman in a bar and things were getting heated.

"Want to go back to my place?" I asked.

"Of course," she replied.

I said, "Here are the keys. Make sure you let the dog out for a shit."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m writing a Spanish song about how I dance more than anyone.

I call it β€œBailamost”.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?

He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drivecrux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
This week on Dancing With the Tsars

Ivan was Terrible, Peter & Catherine were Great, and Boris was Godunov.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Learning to Ballet dance

That'll keep you on your toes

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally, he gets his suit. HeΒ decides to buy flowers, so he goesΒ to the flower shop. The flower shopΒ has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilΒ he finally buys flowers. He picks up the girlΒ and they go to the dance. There is a long lineΒ into the dance, so they wait and wait. Finally,Β they get into the dance, and the guy offersΒ to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,Β so he goes to the drink table, and there isΒ no punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are highschool dances such a joke?

The punchline is too long

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheNeutralParty
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
(Got this one from my 4 year old) how do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it. Never been more proud

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nhockert23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the programmer dance to the song?

Because he didn't get the... algo-rhythm...

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wazer_mn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the cookie's favorite dance at the wedding?

The Macaroon-a!

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are cows bad at dancing?

They lactose.

πŸ‘︎ 431
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-have-eaten-ass
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.

He is my cousin, twice [removed]

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn’t the skeleton dance?

It had no body to dance with

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know bees communicate by dancing?

That’s how bees-are

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooAvocados7098
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put a boogie in it;)

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skatergurl1996
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a hankerchief dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MycroftGalt187
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil boogie in it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LikeJayURock4180
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeadowTate108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigE7869
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you make a Kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slimyboomerang
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report

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