From a friend: Krispy Kreme is giving away free donuts if you’re vaccinated.

Why not a cough-fee instead?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshntiff
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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What the hell am I dough-in’ here? I donut belong here
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CosmicOli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2021
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What's a donut's astrological sign?

Torus

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chirstain
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
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My wife accused me of taking the last donut

It’s true. I just ate the hole thing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obi-whine-kenobi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
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Someone sent me a donut in an email.

It was a e-clair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Apollonius_Cone
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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What do you call a store that sells only bagels and donuts?

Hole Foods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TalornCeleron
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
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I'm gonna start a German themed donut shop.

Any investors interested in backing Gluten Morgen?

Pretty proud of that one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/samjtrost
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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Today someone bought our department a box of donuts and some lotto tickets. The potential grand prize was $3,000, in which my boss exclaimed "Well that isn't enough to retire".

I corrected him by saying that is plenty of money to buy some new tires for your car.

The physical pain on his face was priceless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Megaman_90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I got a donut for lunch, but I had to complain about it...

The manager asked, "did you have a problem with any particular part of the donut?"

I said yes. The hole thing.

(one of my only original jokes I've ever come up with.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Veavictis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What do you get if you mix a dumb person with a donut?

Donut ask me....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l19mxd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Did you hear about the donut shop that burned down?

It was an extra krispy kreme

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What did the taco say to the depressed donut?

Taco: Want to taco bout it? Donut: I donut know what to say.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/L0stRobot
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2021
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What did one donut say to the other donut?

Nothing, because donuts can't talk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crowkiller06
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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We donut want to be late.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/loot98
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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Excuse me, why are there only donuts, bagels, and swiss cheese at this store?

Sir this is a Hole Foods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fathertime108
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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How does Bob Marley like his donuts??

With "jammin"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/burgersandchips2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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What did the dad say as he walked out of the donut shop with a dozen glazed?

Good buy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/malker84
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I want some donuts.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/InsightThoughts
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked to take 2, he said no.

I replied β€œcan I at least Taekwondo?”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/forkingbread
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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What do you get when you plant a Donut?

A pastree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/s0apyjam
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
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Why did the donut go to the dentist?

To get a chocolate filling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blandlemon
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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If dunkin donuts was a bar,

It would be called drunkn donuts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vuyfogifux
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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This will never go stale so donut tell me otherwise
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Razabeth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2019
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I failed no nut November because I saw a donut store sign and I read "do nut"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironporkchop
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
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I donut know who this is

Someone named Chris P. Cream

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Escalade1414
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
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I went to a donut shop and stole some donuts.... The owner said: donut come here ever againπŸ˜”
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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I love donuts

They're not self centered.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dzaster1984
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell you about the shady vendor who sold me an overpriced, moldy donut on my trip to see the Pyramids?

Egypt me, but I was starving so I ate it anyway. Now I falafel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/obvious_santa
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
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What do you call donut-shaped pane of glass?

A window washer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/calpup
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
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A donut walks into a church, approaches the priest and explains "Excuse me, Father, I don't mean to trouble you, but I'm very interested in joining the clergy."

"I was hoping that you could give me some pointers."

The priest, after taking a moment to accept the fact that he's speaking with a pastry, offers a warm smile in response.

"That is truly a noble calling." he says. "Most frequently, individuals who wish to become priests begin by growing active in their parish, then entering a seminary. While in attendance there, would-be clergy members work to excel in every regard, reaffirming their beliefs and devoting themselves to the path of righteousness. When the time comes, a given initiate will be ordained as a deacon, which will allow them passage to priesthood."

"That sounds like a very involved process." the donut confesses. "I'm not sure I have the time."

"If you don't mind me asking…" replies the priest. "What made you think you wanted to join the clergy if you're not willing to make a commitment to the process? Why do you want to be a priest at all?"

"Well…" the donut answers. "See, it's because I'm holey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What breakfast pastry willfully causes more pain and suffering than a donut?

A crueller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yahtzee44444
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Never insult a donut.

some of them have fillings.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckeyespud
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2018
🚨︎ report
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?

With jam in.

What does Bob Marley say to his friends when they come around for donuts and coffee?

"I hope you like jam in too"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ARushandaPush
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Why did the baker stop making donuts?

He was fed up with the hole thing!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hackerman79_
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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My favorite puns are the ones that involve physical harm (ie Hertz Donut)

I guess you could say I like being punished

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jriggs97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
The center of a donut might be fat free

but it tastes like nothing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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The donut shop got robbed

The burglars said they chose it because the shop was rolling in the dough

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninjawhit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baker that stopped making donuts?

He got tired of the hole thing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluehorseshoe33
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
There's a new donut shop in town, and they deliver
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cazberry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Got donuts with my dad at a place called Hurts Donut

Upon arrival he asked β€œever had Hurts Donut?” and before I could answer he punched me in the the chest and said β€œhurts don’t it!”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spendthelove
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts, but when I asked if I could take two, he said no...

I pleaded, β€œCan I at least Taekwondo?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a Korean martial artist holding out a basket of donuts. When I asked if I could take two, he said no.

I said, β€œCan I at least Taekwondo?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Bob Marley have his donuts?

With jammin'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lukeatherton41
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Have you heard about my store that only sells organic donuts, bagels, and swiss cheese?

We’re calling it Hole Foods.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CroqueMonsieur
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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