I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog
She was too kneady.
You could say she was having a crisis
What do 7 days without water do?
They make one weak
Hu let the dogs out!!
Me: I'm taking a college class about what it's like 32 degrees below the freezing point of water.
My friend: Cool, do you mind telling me what it's called?
Me: 0F course.
https://preview.redd.it/om6zintogpq21.png?width=1300&format=png&auto=webp&s=1b90d0b3afdf51473744930a3c05319b96c00ecb
I'm never gonna give you UP, but I'm never gonna let you down...
Cops asked where I got it from, I said my neighbor.
I kept beating around the bush
My dad passed away about 3 years ago. Now that I am a dad as well I thought I would pass on his favorite joke, bear with me cuz its long, but worth it...
A poor man who lives in a straw hut wants to to impress his neighbor. So he works for 3 months, enough to buy a fancy chair at the market. He calls his neighbor over for dinner one night and has him sit in the chair at dinner. He asks his neighbor, " isn't this a very nice chair? " To which the neighbor replies "it's okay i guess"...
Heartbroken, after the neighbor leaves, the man takes the chair upstairs and puts it in a closet and thinks.. maybe it was not a nice enough chair...
He then works 6 months, leaves his little straw hut and hitches a ride to the city and buys an extravagant chair with velvet padding. Once again he has his neighbor over for dinner, this time the neighbor says "it's nice, but I've seen better"
Sad, the man stores the chair in the upstairs closet. But the man could not be deterred.
He then worked for an entire year, left his little straw hut and went all the way to the capitol and bought a gaudy, gold painted chair with lion motifs and silk pillows.
The neighbor comes over to dinner and says. "Wow, what an ugly chair!"
Furious, the man grabs the chair, marches upstairs and throws it in the closet with such force that his entire straw hut collapses.
I guess people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones...
His wife tweeted him badly
Cuz then it would be a foot
I guess selfish shellfish sell swell fish.
cuz they drinked the T(ea)
8-year-old daughter: “Makes sense. Cuz I didn’t laugh.”
cuz he was interested in male delivery.
Cuz "sad" backwards is "das". And das no good.
So proud
Dad: "Did you know that the people who live in this town aren't allowed to be buried in that cemetery?"
Me: "Oh, why?"
Dad: "Cuz they're still alive."
The chicken hadn't evolved yet.
everyone gets it.
I said, "Where the fuck am I going to find 5 people without any problems?"
Because they bring you hella pain, yo
Cuz they drank the T
How the heck did it take me 13 years (watched it in 2008) for me to get that (probably a double) car pun. “Radiator springs”, cuz Car radiators. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Cuz you only get one shot, do not miss your chance to go. This opportunity comes once in a lifetime.
Cuz even the beef gets corny
I thought that was pretty cool, 'cuz it gave me somewhere to put my arms.
cuz its a jam
Cuz they literally can’t even
Cuz the Cow's got the udder!
Cuz then it would be a foot.
