If you want to contact a dead Italian....

Use a Luigi board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2021
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What do you call it when an old Australian person tries to contact you but you have to return the call?

Boomer rang

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Mournclaww
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 27 2021
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My contact lenses have been dry on my eyes when I put them in. I discovered a liquid to prevent it!

That was the solution!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do fairies burn when in contact with metal?

They're alloy-gic!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrFillywonk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2021
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I took out my contact lenses at midnight.

Goodbye 20/20.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
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Just deleted all the German contacts off my phone.

...it’s now Hans free.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sminky99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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What do you call a dinosaur that lost his contact lenses?

Doyouthinkhesaurus.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imustrun580
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says

"Well prayed"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
If Mario’s brother died, would he contact him through a Luigi board?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kabukimansanjoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and my wife got into an argument about how to contact an ancient Chinese dynasty...

She said...

"Talk to the Hans."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HypnotizeD_X
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...

I'm not sure why he was stairing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 29 2020
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I got a contact to make a documentary about shoemakers. They didn't give me enough time to a great job...

...but I manged to cobble something together last minute.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How does an orchestra keep in contact with each other?

They touch bass.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night.

My dreams have never been clearer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whoisapotato
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 13 2020
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My customers keep complaining that they're receiving empty boxes with no contacts in them

but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Willnotholdoor4Hodor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a contact lens problem.

I have no contact lens solution.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/grumpy_hubby
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
β€ͺWe agreed to start greeting each other without making physical contact...‬

Then we shook on it.‬

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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I told my kid to make eye contact when talking.

But he just keeps headbutting people.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/IAbstainFromSociety
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2019
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Contact lenses are better than glasses

At least in my eyes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PhpXp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a medium contact a dead window washer?

With a squeegee board

πŸ‘οΈŽ 61
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jbholt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?

You column.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slmckay73
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Before my operation last week, the nurse wanted to know if I could give them a contact number in case of an emergency...

I said, "911."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2019
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Running away from human contact.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/couragethebravestdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Quickest way to contact god in 2019

Send a knee-mail

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vandango05
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve gotten so used to taking my contacts out over the years...

I should be able to take them out with my eyes closed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/One-Comma-Club
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2019
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Eye contact
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timismickis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Does anyone here want a free iPhone 11? If so, contact me.

We can then talk about how we both want a free iPhone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It was hard for scientists to create a liquid for contacts

But they came up with a solution

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/4ork_Reddit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My dog ate my contact lenses

Do you suppose that he's seeing shit more clearly now?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Airsoftjunky97
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2019
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Why arent contacts good in school?

They always miss their glasses

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ExsistanceIsPain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad said he couldn’t find his contacts

It was in the top left corner of his phone.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FireWizard41
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Whenever I wash my contact lenses with water it never really cleans them right and it stings when I put them in.

If only there was a solution.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 181
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Threeatatime1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2017
🚨︎ report
If your house is flooded, contact me, I'll buy it.

I only invest in liquid assets.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/piedssurmars
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Free air guitar to first person to contact me

No strings attached.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you contact Michael Jackson?

Send him a hee-hee mail

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mddc52
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Everytime I wash my contacts in water it makes my eyes sting.

If only there was a solution.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Ever wanted to contact a dead Italian ?

Use a Luigi board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Best way to contact a dead Italian.....

.....use a Luigi Board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Wanna contact a dead Italian....

Simple....Use a Luigi board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Want to contact the spirit of a dead Italian ?

Use a Luigi board.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Mario use to contact his dead relatives?

A Luigi board

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kabukimansanjoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says

"Well prayed"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of board do Italians use to contact the dead?

A Luigi board

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a contact lens problem.

I have no contact lens solution.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 214
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I've deleted all the German contacts I know off my phone...

Now it's Hans free

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/B-man44
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I deleted all the German contacts from my phone....

It’s now Hans free

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ringbit214
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I deleted my German friend from my contacts list.

Now my phone is Hans free.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report

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