I have a contact lens problem.

I have no contact lens solution.

👍︎ 28
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📅︎ Feb 03 2020
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What did the Australian say to his friend who spotted his missing contact lens from afar?

"Good eye, mate."

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/zamoose
📅︎ Jan 06 2018
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I can't believe I lost my contact lens

Could've sworn I'd kept my eye on it.

👍︎ 18
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📅︎ Apr 11 2017
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From the bathroom..

Roommate : Do you have the contact lens solution? Me: Depends, what's the contact lens problem?

👍︎ 158
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 10 2014
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I think my wife is displeased.

My wife took the day off because she had an eye doctor appointment. She just sent me a text.

"Can't wait to see you!"

"Is that a contact lens joke?"

"No"

"Woulda been a good one!"

She has not replied. I regret nothing.

👍︎ 11
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📅︎ Nov 25 2015
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My wife's reaction was priceless...

This isn't a typical "dadjoke" post so bear with me... I think you'll appreciate the story.

So my wife and I were breaking down some cardboard boxes in front of our almost-3-year-old son. I put my face into one of the boxes as it was being flattened and said to my son "Oh no! My face is being squished!"

My wife was standing behind me so I couldn't see her reaction to my dadjoke. My son chuckled but my wife said, "Oh no!"

I asked her what was wrong and she said, "I rolled my eyes so hard that my contact [lens] went up in my eye!"

I told her she got what she deserved.

👍︎ 19
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📅︎ Apr 08 2015
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I have a contact lens problem.

I have no contact lens solution.

👍︎ 213
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 15 2018
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