If you want to contact a dead Italian....
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︎ May 09 2021
What do you call it when an old Australian person tries to contact you but you have to return the call?
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 27 2021
My contact lenses have been dry on my eyes when I put them in. I discovered a liquid to prevent it!
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︎ Mar 12 2021
Why do fairies burn when in contact with metal?
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︎ Feb 20 2021
I took out my contact lenses at midnight.
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︎ Jan 01 2021
Just deleted all the German contacts off my phone.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his contact lenses?
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 30 2020
If Marioβs brother died, would he contact him through a Luigi board?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
π︎ 9k
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︎ Oct 21 2019
Me and my wife got into an argument about how to contact an ancient Chinese dynasty...
She said...
"Talk to the Hans."
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︎ Nov 18 2020
My friend fell down a flight of steps then started looking at me without breaking eye contact...
I'm not sure why he was stairing.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
I got a contact to make a documentary about shoemakers. They didn't give me enough time to a great job...
...but I manged to cobble something together last minute.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
How does an orchestra keep in contact with each other?
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︎ Apr 21 2020
I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night.
My dreams have never been clearer.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 13 2020
My customers keep complaining that they're receiving empty boxes with no contacts in them
but they're the ones that keep requesting contactless delivery!
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 04 2020
I have a contact lens problem.
I have no contact lens solution.
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︎ Feb 03 2020
βͺWe agreed to start greeting each other without making physical contact...β¬
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 14 2020
I told my kid to make eye contact when talking.
But he just keeps headbutting people.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 25 2019
Contact lenses are better than glasses
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︎ Nov 08 2019
How does a medium contact a dead window washer?
π︎ 60
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︎ Oct 01 2019
Before my operation last week, the nurse wanted to know if I could give them a contact number in case of an emergency...
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︎ Dec 29 2019
How do you get in contact with a Greek architect?
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︎ Apr 21 2017
Running away from human contact.
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︎ Aug 18 2018
Quickest way to contact god in 2019
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︎ Jul 05 2019
Iβve gotten so used to taking my contacts out over the years...
I should be able to take them out with my eyes closed
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︎ May 24 2019
Eye contact
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 26 2018
Does anyone here want a free iPhone 11? If so, contact me.
We can then talk about how we both want a free iPhone.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 03 2019
It was hard for scientists to create a liquid for contacts
But they came up with a solution
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 01 2019
My dog ate my contact lenses
Do you suppose that he's seeing shit more clearly now?
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 11 2019
Why arent contacts good in school?
They always miss their glasses
π︎ 6
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︎ Apr 05 2019
My dad said he couldnβt find his contacts
It was in the top left corner of his phone.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 06 2019
If your house is flooded, contact me, I'll buy it.
I only invest in liquid assets.
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︎ Jul 25 2019
Whenever I wash my contact lenses with water it never really cleans them right and it stings when I put them in.
If only there was a solution.
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︎ Oct 12 2017
Free air guitar to first person to contact me
π︎ 37
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︎ May 12 2019
How do you contact Michael Jackson?
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 18 2019
Everytime I wash my contacts in water it makes my eyes sting.
If only there was a solution.
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︎ Aug 02 2018
Ever wanted to contact a dead Italian ?
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︎ Mar 26 2021
Best way to contact a dead Italian.....
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Wanna contact a dead Italian....
Simple....Use a Luigi board.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
Want to contact the spirit of a dead Italian ?
π︎ 24
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︎ Nov 11 2020
What does Mario use to contact his dead relatives?
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 04 2020
Two chinese Christians are having a contest to see who can contact God the fastest. After one wins, the other looks at him and says
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 22 2020
What kind of board do Italians use to contact the dead?
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︎ Feb 14 2020
I have a contact lens problem.
I have no contact lens solution.
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︎ Nov 15 2018
I've deleted all the German contacts I know off my phone...
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︎ Sep 15 2019
I deleted all the German contacts from my phone....
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 26 2019
I deleted my German friend from my contacts list.
Now my phone is Hans free.
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︎ Feb 08 2018
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