The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.

He asked about the neutral wire.

I said "don't worry, its just a phase."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/d3adeyeduck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend told me as I walked in β€œhey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slebsta
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
🚨︎ report
The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.

The steaks were high.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
As far as baby chickens are concerned...

Talk is cheep

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brutalproduct
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/horrorhoney
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m concerned about next year...

I heard it’ll be 2020 too!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dweebken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore

I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.

He says he can stop whenever he wants.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
The baker was concerned...

that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...

...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report
During her first pregnancy my wife was concerned with how much labor was going to hurt.

I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anynamethatworks
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I had concerned friends message me
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/armpittattoo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn't giving himself privacy.

One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.

"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Before I became a dad, I was truly concerned that I wouldn't know how to be a good father

Thankfully, turns out it's in my blood. I come from a long line of Fathers.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Maimonides_vii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Why weren't Mexicans too concerned about Trump's border wall?

They knew that they would eventually get over it.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/weaponG
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?

Beets me

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DCCXXVIII
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
🚨︎ report
It's ok to be concerned about this virus.

I mean even the Sun has 'corona-sphere'

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrcheckpointeh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned people aren't staying in and taking the whole stay at home order seriously

Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EinHeldenle_Ben
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.

I said his concerns are poultry.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JuteScrap
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Really excited to be going to this rock concert, I'd love to crowdsurf but I'm slightly concerned

I might get a bit carried away.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The doctor looked at me with a concerned look on his face and rasped, "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards."

I screamed, "AND!?"

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...

but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeWunderY
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the new butt plug concerned about the used butt plug?

Because it had seen some shit.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_HANDBRA
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I totally understand those concerned moms talking about video games.

I mean, that epic music really is disturbing! So many sax and violins!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TomDaNub3719
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Doctor! Doctor! I'm really concerned about this mole on my shoulder!

Doctor: I'm a Dermatologist, not a veterinarian.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter and I were playing on the beach today when I picked up her small bucket and stared at it for a long time. Puzzled, she asked, "Daddy, what're you doing!!?" Sounding concerned, I said, "Your bucket is sick!"

Surprised, she asked, "How do you know?"

I replied, "Well, it's a little pail!"

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My boss has been on my case for my unusual use of punctuation, but as far as I'm concerned, it's my asterisk.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/0minous-Brass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
The caretaker walked into a class room and all of the kids ran out screaming. Concerned, he asked the teacher if the kids were alright. She replied...

β€œNo. They all left!”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UncleOld
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I dropped a can of olives and my wife was concerned, so I replied...

"Don't worry, I didn't spill olive them."

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/technically_art
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Concerned about boyfriend's dad-joke abilities. Is he a secret dad?

Boyfriend and I went to Portillo's (Italian Beef sandwich place in Chicago) and ordered sammies.

While we were eating, I started a story with the phrase, "so, I kind of have a beef with..."

He pauses, looks down at my now-empty sandwich wrapper and responds with,

"well, you had a beef..."

Also, I've stopped asking him to call my phone when I misplace it because I'm tired of the "what do you want me to call it?" response.

Boy and I have been together for...8 months or so, dad-jokes only got super frequent recently - men of /r/dadjokes - is this a condition that occurs after several months of dating? Please help.

:)

πŸ‘︎ 233
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πŸ‘€︎ u/push_harder
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
🚨︎ report
What did the concerned friend say to the anxious guitarist?

Don't fret

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ebsid25
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My eye doctor is concerned because I keep walking headlong into objects...

He thinks it's a matter of life and depth.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Salt Lake City is concerned that too many teens are rebelling by going "Goth"

Mormon Emo Problems

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
🚨︎ report
I was starting to get concerned that my pony was having trouble neighing

Then I realized it’s probably because he’s just a little hoarse

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
A patient was initially doubtful of the success rate and concerned about her upcoming heart transplant, but after some reassuring...

She had a change of heart.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NomeSoap
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Who is concerned with international public health?

They sure are!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ailyara
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights?

Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adityakr082
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Being concerned for my promiscuous friend, I introduced her to my priest.

But it’s like my dad always said, β€œYou can lead a whore to Father, but you can’t make her think.”

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBooks72
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about grave marker and tombstone sales

It just seems like a dying industry...

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfqs6m
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
🚨︎ report
We were concerned we wouldn't be able to close the flu during dinner

My wife looks over at the fire and says, "It's just embers now"

"Emberasing"

Wife, to my daughter: "Daddy wants a divorce!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NavarrB
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
These days, doctors are not too concerned about bird flu outbreaks.

Because it is Tweetable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about this sub.

The only jokes all year are about new years.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mindfrom1215
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
🚨︎ report
I've been walking around in 20F weather in shorts. People are concerned about hypothermia...

...but honestly, I've been pretty chill about it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MushroomDynamo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad slipped on a patch of ice today. Being the concerned son, I ask 'dad, are you alright??'

To which he replies 'no son, I'm half left'

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OGMudChicken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
🚨︎ report
I'm concerned about my friend's declining memory.

Friend (after eating a cookie): Man, I can't remember the last time I had a homemade sugar cookie. Me: Really? It was just a few seconds ago! (massive groans)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/spoonhocket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad is concerned with being politically correct.

Dad: You can't call them ghosts anymore, they're Apparition-Americans!

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PixieDreamKate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
🚨︎ report

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