*NEWS FLASH* All commodes stolen from local constabulary.

Police have nothing to go on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2018
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Hydrogenated THC oil is a high margarine commodity
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CallMeCarrie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Shopping for a Baby monitor
πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I don't know why ice is such a hot commodity

I mean it's 180Β°^(F) below the boiling point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mister-Pineapple
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2019
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Got my wife while making the shopping list

Her: So how are we doing with Toilet Paper?

Me: I've been practicing for 30 years, i think i got a good technique going.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/bnicoletti82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2014
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What reptile spends the most time in the bathroom?

A Commode-o dragon.

Crosspost from r/jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshandthewolf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
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I invested my child’s savings into coffee

It’s a hot commodity right now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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Geriatric Irish reptile toilet?

Commode O'dragon.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/ultra-saurus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2014
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What do you call a busy, handsome guy

A β€œhot commodity

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpeediestMoon1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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I witnessed three dad jokes tonight.

First this man of about 50 says to his ~12 year old daughter The Classic

Daughter: I'm tired

Dad:Hi, Tired. I'm Dad

Ten or so minutes later we discussed trivia about presidents

Daughter: I'm going to run for president one day

Dad: Why are you going to run? Why not walk?

Then, he continued with his joke, and it only got better.

Dad: I should've been a stand-up commode-ian. That's just a guy who stands next to the commode.

A real American hero

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BellyButtonBob
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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Dadjoke at the Cancer Center...

They keep it at about 18 degrees C here at work, so we give out a lot of warm blankets to patients.

The warmer ran out, and soon after, sure enough, a patient asked me for one.

So I said: "Sorry, we're all out. They're a hot commodity!"

They grimaced...but it could have been the cancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bindher_Dundat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
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The Stock Market Movement

So there's two day traders looking at the commodity stocks for office supplies on their computer. "What's the movement on desks and chairs?" asks the first stockbroker.

"Um, that's moving up," says the second. "We should get into it."

"Okay what about stocks for desktop computers? Are they moving?" says the first.

"Yep, they're dropping," says the second. "We've got to sell that off."

"Okay what about paper? Is that moving?" says the first.

"Paper? No," says the second. "Paper is stationery."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StreetfighterXD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
🚨︎ report

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