After your uncles wife commits arson
πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrdicknballs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
If you commit 90 sins, you will only get caught half the time.

Because sin90 = cot45.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 83
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Captain--Communism
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada

is it a 34 degree murder in the US?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 499
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FriezaAndHoushi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who commits arson in late November?

A Sagi-terrorist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brichouse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
How did Hitler know it was time to commit sucide.

He got the gas bill

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/worthrone11160606
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime did a test commit?

It didn't commit a crime, the teacher just told me to turn it in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chonqme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the math book commit suicide?

Because he had a lot of problems.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 92
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_L_v_e_S
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What does Venom use to commit crimes online?

The Dark Web.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/morsodo99
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the train conductor commit a crazy crime?

Because he had a Loco-motive

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MJRichter
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime did the forest commit?

Treeson

πŸ‘οΈŽ 87
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/knittingmonster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who commits a murder with a deck of cards that only has clubs, spades, and diamonds?

Heartless

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lego_luke
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime do you commit when you throw a text book?

Textual Assault

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kirat692157
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the car commit murder

Automotives

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/caaaaaaaarrrrl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
don't commit die kids
πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuB2PewDIep1e
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when 7 Austrian children get you to commit a crime?

Von Trappment

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zebrocks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
How did the tree commit suicide?

It pulled the twigger.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/w00tah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2019
🚨︎ report
In war it’s best to commit crimes on naval frigates.

Charges are often dropped.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Freklred
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
what do mathematicians use to commit suicide

a hypotenoose

πŸ‘οΈŽ 70
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MweeisMe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s the worst crime to commit in arbor society?

Treeson

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheKingOfFault
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife told me if she ever had Alzheimer’s she’d commit suicide to save me the burden.

I told her that’s the sixth time she’s said that today.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sc00tzy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the fish commit fraud?

A pondsy scheme.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThatGuySolace
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My therapist said I never commit to anything

So I

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ooftypewriter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
She Commit
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlackRelish12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I don’t think I could commit to a job being a taster at La Croix.

I would just be testing the waters.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/childishfanbino3005
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the dolphin commit suicide?

His life had no porpoise.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SerSkywell
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If I ever need to commit murder I'll do it with an ax

That way I can claimed it was ax-idental.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crochetyhooker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a tree who commits espionage?

A leaves-dropper

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/netherportal02
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
When someone commits suicide via jumping they literally jump to a conclusion.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kohpGao
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why would a person in a painting be convicted for a crime that he didn't commit?

Because he was framed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FurriesRGay14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What crime can a salt shaker commit?

A-salt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Spathens
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken commit a crime?

Because he was egged on.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 91
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/throwaway555555543
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 28 2016
🚨︎ report
What crime did the tree commit?

He committed treeson

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SquawkMcQuawk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 23 2017
🚨︎ report
People ask why peeping toms usually commit their crimes between 8 and 10...

That’s the peak time

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iam4real
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did the drum player commit suicide after being charged with homicide?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoldenYLP
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Abe Lincoln commit crimes?

Because he's in a cent!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iceberger3
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2017
🚨︎ report
A man was giggling in a police car on the way to the station. What crime did he commit?

Manslaughter.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I_love_420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2016
🚨︎ report
What kind of crimes do owls commit?

Mass hootings.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/throwaway555555543
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2016
🚨︎ report
it takes guts to commit seppuku

get it?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MAX228DOESREDDIT
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 14 2016
🚨︎ report
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.

Because sin90 = cot45

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken commit suicide?

To get to the other side.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/qarasaq
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Mathematically, if you commit 90 sins, you only get caught half the time.

sin 90 = cot 45

πŸ‘οΈŽ 237
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What crime do trees commit?

Treeson

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cyborg_daniel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.