Despite curfews in place around the county, cops are out all night clubbing.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrGutierrez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A Basement Jaxx song came on when I was clubbing with my bald father.

I said, "Where's Your Hair Dad?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Maybe he’s going clubbing?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
🚨︎ report
If you go clubbing tonight you get an extra hour

Call it daylight ravings

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BD8D
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2017
🚨︎ report
The eyes of a seal pup are pure black because they don't go to school. Instead they spend their time clubbing, so...no pupils. (x post /r/ShittyAnimalFacts)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
The other day I went clubbing for the first time in years.

Went out, painted the ice red.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naiphe
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FriendlyITGuy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2016
🚨︎ report
Grandma wanted to go clubbing...

Grandma: clit_or_us, I have made up my mind, I'm going out with you guys tonight.

Me: OK, what are you going to wear?

Grandma: Nothing! Just tell them my outfit is wrinkled!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/clit_or_us
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the frog that was double parked outside the club?

He got toad.

It was worth it though... That club was hopping.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tertiam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a strip club where everything is upside down?

Stranger Thongs

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?

Church.

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Baby seal walks into a club

What a tragedy...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheProffalken
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy club.

It was open Mike night.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anytime200
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Am I punny enough for the pun club?
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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A new father goes to a club that helps adjust to fatherhood

Receptionist: Hello and welcome to the NDA, or New Dad Association, how may I help you today?

Dad: Can I tell other people about this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylans2090
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I started a cancel culture club.

Boy George was not too pleased.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBrotherBagels
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2021
🚨︎ report
A friend opened a strip club called the G.Spot...

It closed after a week as most men couldn't find it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Caveman 1: "I've heard that a dinosaur won't hurt me if I carry a club. Is that true?"

Caveman 2: "That depends on how fast you carry the club."

(Yes, I'm aware of the anachronisms.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
🚨︎ report
This gun club wouldn't let me in until I could ejaculate bullets.

I was skeptical at first, but eventually I came a round

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I was once offered the chance to join a secret club, where anyone who asks a question is permanently banned.

I said, "Sure, why not?"

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chess club bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?

Chessnuts boasting in an open foyer

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I went to a dance club with the Flu....

It was sick.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I was at a club last night where they had a Superman themed night.

You should have seen the queue to the cloakroom.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I haven't kept up my subscription to the Scrabble club....

Now they have started sending me threatening letters.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What will you call a football club of Chickens?

KFC

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you get when Sam Malone from 'Cheers' goes to the club?

You get Ted Dancin'

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ragna_Blade
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
🚨︎ report
Decided to make a new stripe club today

We only play β€œHey There Delilah”. The club will called the Plain White Tease.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Might-Aromatic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I got kicked out of my poetry club because I made too many Linkin Park references

But who could rock a rhyme like this?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around.

Then IT hit me!

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
A English man, a Spaniard, a French man, and a German. Go to a club. The guy on stage asks if they can see him. They said

β€œYes” β€œOui” β€œSí” β€œJa”

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGregGreg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I had to leave the Neanderthal comedy club early

The humor was too lowbrow

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I don't understand why anyone would use a club instead of a sword

It's pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pksage
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone asked if there is a local chess club?

Let me check....mate

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brucejewce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
First rule of β€œMute Club”

Nobody talks about β€œMute Club”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenex2005
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell a story about my buddies jogging club,

But it's just a running joke among friends

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Craftninja7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
🚨︎ report
Clever strip club sign
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greigers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
I like to advertise my homemade fruit preserves at clubs.

Whenever a song comes on, I’ll hold up a jar and say, β€œThis is my jam!”

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
A man called Bart walks into a club and the man behind the bar shoots him.

He goes β€œ they don’t call me the Bartender for nothing”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakedcake32
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A very honest dad and his son accidentally wander into a strip club.

A prostitute goes to the dad, and he notices her coming his way. He quickly closes his son's eyes.

Son: Dad, what was that woman wearing?

Dad: Uhh, nothing.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Turuu_Was_Taken
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Mike Tyson Sad at the strip club?

They were clothed.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigXris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Iraqi comedy club...

Badgag.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My new club on the moon failed...

It had no atmosphere.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Koevoet91
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Back in high school my Shakespeare Club have me an award

I was voted most likely To.Be

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FalconerGuitars
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
If I told you I knew a convoluted joke about a golf club, a sheep, a stinging insect, a tree, and that scary clown movie...

Wood ewe bee leaf It?

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the comedy club with some friends and ended up paying for everyone...

jokes on me i guess

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heyitsjakson
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend opened a club called β€œThe G-Spot”

But it closed after a week, because most men couldn’t find it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaden_strommer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited at the Autopsy Club.

It was open Mike night!

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
At my book club, I wondered why they were throwing Stephen King novels around...

Then IT hit me!

πŸ‘︎ 84
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I was excited to join the Autopsy Club

Wednesday’s are Open Mike Night.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Formaldefortress
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Everyone was excited to be at our autopsy club this evening.

It was open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 346
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
So excited for autopsy club!

It's open mike night!

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the most popular event at autopsy club?

Open Mike night.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicferret
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
At my book club, I was wondering why they were throwing Stephan King books at me.

Then It hit me!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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