My coworkers are like christmas lights,

Half of them dont work and the other half arent that bright.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/poshnoshlosh
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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What do you call a blimp wrapped in Christmas lights?

LED Zeppelin

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CLucas127
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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362 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up...

Unbelievable!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Seriously guys. Take your Christmas lights down.

Christmas was literally last year.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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My dog ate a string of Christmas lights, but the vet was able to remove them.

My dog was delighted.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DiosMioMan2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
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Why did the dad kneel on the Christmas lights?

He wanted to put up neon lights.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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What do Christmas lights do when they’re stressed out?

They hang themselves.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pete_da_yete
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brookscorbs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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What is a government officials favorite kind of christmas light?

A Blinkin' one

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cXoXdXy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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So a friend of mine was putting up Christmas lights and they got stuck in her hair

She was light headed!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookie4524
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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My dad put Christmas lights on his double bass today...

The lights were weaving in and out between the strings, all over the fretboard, etc, rendering it temporarily unplayable. So I asked, "How are you going to play it now with the lights between the strings?" He replied with, "Carefully." Of course. "But the lights will stop the strings from being used properly!"

"Well, they'll just feel a little lighter then, won't they?"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deathbat6120
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2017
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It January second and people already have their Christmas lights up....this is getting ridiculous.
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meatballin12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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I finally got around to taking down my Christmas lights. My son asked if I wanted to use the ladder or the step-stool.

I told him I'd prefer the latter, but he brought me the ladder.

This joke sucks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyrannosaurus-WRX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2016
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Setting up Christmas lights with my dad

Me, holding one end of a string of lights: Ok, Dad, grab a side.

Dad: Isn't that what kills grabs?

Me: What?

Dad: Grabacide.

He burst out laughing for a full minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dude_Dudeman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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Driving past Christmas lights

We drive past a house with Christmas lights still on (January 12)

Dad- "That's a new record for earliest Christmas lights! Can you believe they already have them up?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiskerWhispers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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My co workers are like my Christmas lights...

Half of them don’t work and the other half aren’t that bright.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g00secs
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2017
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Can you believe that people have their Christmas lights up already?

There is still 365 days until Christmas

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beroc85
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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Can't believe people still have Christmas lights up... Christmas was LAST YEAR!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexdude1085
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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My dad on Christmas lights today

"There are 364 more days until Christmas, and people are already putting up lights? Unbelievable."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/three_pac
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2013
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