A list of puns related to "Detroit"
Top Detectives have been assigned to the stair case.
Canโt have shit in Detroit
There's a huge quack epidemic.
I said I wasn't prepared and I would have to wing it.
Fiancรฉ: where do you want to eat?
Me: well there's the mcdonalds and the currency exchange over there
...
We can get a euro.
She just walked away.
Cetroit.
My friends and I were eating in a restaurant where all the waiters are Greek and have heavy accents. Our waiter walked by, said something inaudible, and walked away:
Friend: What did he say?
Me: Dunno, it's all Greek to me!
many groans ensue
I think he would've worked out great in a battery!
I can finally join your ranks!
We were out to dinner last night and my wife was telling a story about how she saw a tumbleweed rolling down the road on her way home from work in downtown Detroit. She thought it very unusual and as she got closer she realized it was just a giant ball of hair blowing down the road, to which I replied...
"Would you say you saw a tumbleWEAVE?"
God it feels good to be hilarious. I need to actually get a kid now so I can keep chasing this high...
Can't have shit in Detroit.
because I live in Canada.
A woman and her 12-year-old son were riding in a taxi in Detroit. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing under awnings.
"Mom," said the boy, "what are all those women doing?"
"They're waiting for their husbands to get off work," she replied.
The taxi driver turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? They're hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money."
The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true Mom?"
His mother, glaring hard at the driver, answers, "Yes."
After a few minutes the kid asks, "Mom, if those women have babies, what happens to them?"
She said, "Most of them become taxi drivers."
Washington, D.C.
If the Chicago Bears moved to Detroit, then Detroit would have the Lions, the Tigers, and the Bears. Oh MI!
I visited Detroit yesterday and walked to the riverwalk (which Canada is right across the water). As my wife and I are taking in the view I hear behind us:
random dad: "Oh... Canada"
family: ...
rd; "you know, they should make a song like that."
family: ...
rd: "actually with those exact words; Oh Canada....."
I was hanging out with my dad and grandpa this weekend. My grandpa was talking about how big the airport in LA was compared to Detroit.
My dad chimes in "yeah it's a big airport but I heard the security is pretty LAX" groans ensue
He adds "I heard when you retire from working there they give you a bottle of ex-lax"
That'll do dad. That'll do.
My dad is a truck driver. This story gets everyone he's ever told it to: Dad: "So I'm driving through Detroit at about 3-4am to start my route. As you know, most of the inner city roads are crap, and are polluted with potholes. Suddenly I see an ambulance in my mirror going full speed with its lights on. I immediately pull off to the side of the road to let it pass. This is where it gets crazy... The ambulance drives through the intersection bouncing through potholes and as it does, the back door flies open and a cooler pops out, but the ambulance keeps going like nothing happened. Well I was the only one around at that time of the night so I immediately stopped to grab the cooler. I bring it into my cab and it has a hazmat sticker on it but the seal is broken. So I decided to open it up and see what was inside. It was a human toe!" Me: "Holy shit! What did you do!?" Dad: "I called the toe truck"
Me and my dad were riding in the car and I was playing Where's My Water on my phone.
Dad:What are you playing?
Me:Where's My Water.
Dad: So, what, you're in Detroit?
I was explaining to my dad how I won a match in a pool tournament the night before...
I had to play against the best player in the house but he had hurt his back earlier that day so he couldn't even walk straight. He won the opening lag to earn the right to break. I jokingly asked him "are you sure you want to break with that back injury?" He broke anyways and didn't make anything. My teammate and I proceeded to run the whole table, including the eight ball, to win the game as underdogs. Afterward my teammate said to the pro, "Hey, didn't /u/DetroitLarry warn you not to break?" At which point my dad interrupts my story to say...
"Now that's just adding insult to injury!"
While discussing my moms trip she is currently on in Europe.
I said I wasn't prepared and I would have to wing it.
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