Choir Puns

She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

They weren’t very good at first, but they practised and now they’re an OK Chorale

I told her I don't work in a bakery

Did they stick their fingers in an electrical socket?

"No... Why..?"

Well, then, how do you know if they were good conductors or not?

The main chorus.

A subwoofer

Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.

So they can carry their tune

He was a little horse

..."There are 99 people in that choir."

My son, who was with me, asked, "Wow dad! How did you count them so quickly?"

I replied, "They are singing >!"Africa" by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do.!<"

I told him about a tenor so.

I remember when we got married at the alto.

There was a choir member who was having trouble hearing this week, possibly due to sickness and clogged sinuses, so she went to get it checked out yesterday.

I asked her today how it went.

"Oh, they ran some tests, but I haven't heard anything since."

It was a standoff of the OK chorales.

Now that the Tenors had left, everyone has been pretty SAB lately.

Looks like he got in treble.

Called it "A Patella"

...when GF's dad turns to us and says, "remember to turn your phones on stun."

GF replies with, "actually, you should put it on airplane mode, it'll keep it from getting any messages and vibrating."

To this, dad replies, "nah, I don't like that mode; it makes my ears pop."

My dad works at a church, and stopped into a birthday celebration for a member of our funeral choir. After asking for a piece of cake, they insisted that he sing a song. After singing, something they said he should join their choir to which he responded: "I heard people are dying just to hear you guys sing."

He told me they all groaned at him, but I laughed at that.

So my dad was in a choir a long time ago and the sopranos were having trouble hitting a high a in one of the songs they were doing

The director says "alright i think we'll take a break and get back to that part"

Without a beat my dad responds "i guess that would be a Hiatus"

He still tells the story of the time he told the joke like 10 years later.

It was towards the end of the semester and my parents had come to my university to see my choir concert as well as pick up some of the things from my dorm I didn't need any more. I went back to my dorm to get my bicycle and the replacement tire I was supposed to put on the bike but never got around to it. To make things easier, I put the tire around my neck and across my chest so I could wheel the bike to the campus center to meet up with my family and my boyfriend. As I'm walking up to them, my dad looks me up and down and says "Are you sure that's the proper atTIRE?"

We were singing a piece that was arranged by a person named Micheal Jackson with the middle name that was abbreviated with an "O". Without skipping a beat an older fellow says. "hmmm must be the Irish couter part Micheal O'Jackson", all other dads gave the smile and nod of approval while I cringled to myself.

We were singing Handel's "Israel in Egypt." The last movement has the line "The horse and his rider" repeated several times. Towards the end of a measure, it slows down and often people miss it and sing it up tempo. Our choir director said "The last 'rider' isn't as fast as the others."

A guy from the back cracks "That'd be why he's in last place!"

Dad: Something is wrong with that song.

Me: Lauren says it is from Rent.

Me: It's about AIDS she says.

Dad: They ought to return it.

http://i.imgur.com/7lsPNQZ.jpg

So they can carry their tune

He was a little hoarse