A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"

She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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My daughter got out of choir practice. She was talking about who her favorite conductors were, and was really excited about her favorite ones, because she said they were very good conductors.

Did they stick their fingers in an electrical socket?

"No... Why..?"

Well, then, how do you know if they were good conductors or not?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/der_innkeeper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
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I was talking to my choir teacher and she asked me if Icing well.

I told her I don't work in a bakery

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k8lin70
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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What is a choir’s favorite part of dinner?

The main chorus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLikeOldTrees
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2021
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Q:What was the first choir ever called? A:The prior
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnooHobbies6674
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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What do you call the bass in dog choir?

A subwoofer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/guitarman1103
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
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My priest fired me from playing guitar with the choir.

Apparently it’s blasphemous to play a Gsus2 chord.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Why wasn't the pony able to sing his solo at choir practice?

He was a little horse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnspartyrepair
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Why do choirs keep buckets handy?

So they can carry their tune

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
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I saw an all-male choir performing on the weekend. I said...

..."There are 99 people in that choir."

My son, who was with me, asked, "Wow dad! How did you count them so quickly?"

I replied, "They are singing >!"Africa" by Toto. It's something that a hundred men or more could never do.!<"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2018
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My friend in choir asked how attractive he was.

I told him about a tenor so.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/banksfornades
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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My husband sings in a choir.

I remember when we got married at the alto.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
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As a youngster, I used to spend a lot of time dressed as a choir boy helping the local Vicar prepare the communion table.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sub273
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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I accompany a choir full of retired individuals

There was a choir member who was having trouble hearing this week, possibly due to sickness and clogged sinuses, so she went to get it checked out yesterday.

I asked her today how it went.

"Oh, they ran some tests, but I haven't heard anything since."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kuebic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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Two mediocre choirs refused to sit next to each other...

It was a standoff of the OK chorales.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ContentDoctor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2016
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Our choir used to be a full SATB chorus...

Now that the Tenors had left, everyone has been pretty SAB lately.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grassblox311
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2017
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The choir boy went to detention

Looks like he got in treble.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Master_Redditer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2015
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The Orthopedics Made a Choir

Called it "A Patella"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zatch17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2016
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My Dad was in a choir

So my dad was in a choir a long time ago and the sopranos were having trouble hitting a high a in one of the songs they were doing

The director says "alright i think we'll take a break and get back to that part"

Without a beat my dad responds "i guess that would be a Hiatus"

He still tells the story of the time he told the joke like 10 years later.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AcBoober57
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2014
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So I was at a choir performance with my GF and her family...

...when GF's dad turns to us and says, "remember to turn your phones on stun."

GF replies with, "actually, you should put it on airplane mode, it'll keep it from getting any messages and vibrating."

To this, dad replies, "nah, I don't like that mode; it makes my ears pop."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PatShoe
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2013
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Funeral Choir

My dad works at a church, and stopped into a birthday celebration for a member of our funeral choir. After asking for a piece of cake, they insisted that he sing a song. After singing, something they said he should join their choir to which he responded: "I heard people are dying just to hear you guys sing."

He told me they all groaned at him, but I laughed at that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjatertl
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2015
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In choir practice

We were singing a piece that was arranged by a person named Micheal Jackson with the middle name that was abbreviated with an "O". Without skipping a beat an older fellow says. "hmmm must be the Irish couter part Micheal O'Jackson", all other dads gave the smile and nod of approval while I cringled to myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/neilope
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2013
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The high school choir was singing badly during graduation last night

Dad: Something is wrong with that song.

Me: Lauren says it is from Rent.

Me: It's about AIDS she says.

Dad: They ought to return it.

http://i.imgur.com/7lsPNQZ.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tickthegreat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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Dad shared this one with the family right before my choir concert

It was towards the end of the semester and my parents had come to my university to see my choir concert as well as pick up some of the things from my dorm I didn't need any more. I went back to my dorm to get my bicycle and the replacement tire I was supposed to put on the bike but never got around to it. To make things easier, I put the tire around my neck and across my chest so I could wheel the bike to the campus center to meet up with my family and my boyfriend. As I'm walking up to them, my dad looks me up and down and says "Are you sure that's the proper atTIRE?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yartenic
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2014
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Had a good one at choir practice

We were singing Handel's "Israel in Egypt." The last movement has the line "The horse and his rider" repeated several times. Towards the end of a measure, it slows down and often people miss it and sing it up tempo. Our choir director said "The last 'rider' isn't as fast as the others."

A guy from the back cracks "That'd be why he's in last place!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckedAsBored
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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Why do choirs keep buckets handy?

So they can carry their tune

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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Why couldn't the pony sing in the choir?

He was a little hoarse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanilla_Milkshaq
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
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