Cash Machine Puns

A list of puns related to "Cash Machine"

I can't stop taking money out of every cash machine I walk past...

Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Nov 06 2020
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I was going to make a joke about cash Machines but

I can’t think of any atm.

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👤︎ u/welsh97
📅︎ Jun 03 2020
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines

I just can't think of one atm

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/HeartBreakKid99
📅︎ Dec 11 2018
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If you accidentally leave some cash in your clothing and it goes through the washing machine,

Wouldn't that be 'money laundering'?

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👤︎ u/Escalade1414
📅︎ Jan 08 2020
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I'm trying to come up with an alternative name for a cash machine

But I can't think of one ATM.

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👤︎ u/Toffeeman_
📅︎ Dec 28 2018
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I dropped some cash into the washing machine.

I am afraid that i'll get caught for money laundering.I dont know how to stop having this punitive thought.

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👤︎ u/ShowAbe
📅︎ Jun 30 2018
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My neighbor got in trouble with the police for washing his cash in the washing machine

Turns out, he had laundered the money

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👤︎ u/KapSan1
📅︎ Nov 30 2018
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I accidentally put my donor card in the cash machine the other day.

It cost me an arm and a leg.

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👤︎ u/trajiin
📅︎ Oct 28 2015
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Every time I find cash or coins in the washing machine

I hope I don't get in trouble for money laundering

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👤︎ u/bogusjimmy
📅︎ Nov 01 2014
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Just saw this at the moment.
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👤︎ u/RPGamer954
📅︎ Sep 16 2018
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I lost my wallet...

It turned up this morning when I opened up the washing machine. Everything inside (cash, credit card, driver's license) was soaking wet.

Dad: "I'm calling the police."

Me: "Why would you do that?"

Dad: "You're guilty of laundering money."

ahh...

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/Gudea_of_Lagash
📅︎ Aug 11 2013
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"Dude I think that atm machine just lost a few pounds"

"Dude I think that atm machine just lost a few pounds," my friend told me after I withdrew some cash.

"Actually, I think it goes by USD here"

It was a proud remark of mine I had last night.

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👤︎ u/PM_ME_A_DOGE
📅︎ Sep 09 2017
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My mom pulls a dad joke at the ATM.

My mom and I park in front of the ATM so she can get some cash. I wait in the passenger seat as she goes to the ATM. I look up just in time to see her turn around and start jumping up and down saying "I won! I won!" like she just hit the jackpot at a slot machine. Oh gosh, that's embarrassing...

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👤︎ u/jeremymg
📅︎ Sep 03 2014
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I know a lot of jokes about cash machines. I just can't think of one atm
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👤︎ u/joeylee23
📅︎ Mar 29 2018
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I know heaps of jokes about cash machines...

I just can't think of one ATM

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👤︎ u/dothepropellor
📅︎ Apr 13 2018
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