Very quick burger puns on radio show youtube.com/watch?v=6xNVd…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tags33
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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Showing my 2 year old daughter a picture of herself eating a burger and getting condiments all over her face:

"Mayo-Nose! That's what it's called"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProfessorBarium
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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Burgers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KevlarYarmulke
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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He never bit on the burger invite...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnnyboyd1979
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe

It was a bit Chewie

πŸ‘︎ 123
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majin_P
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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A little known fact was that Bruce Lee came very close to being the spokesman for Burger King.

He really loved the whap-pa!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_eat_unwiped_ass
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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Huey, Dewey, and Louie's Irish uncle that makes a mean burger

Mcdonald

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wushock4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2021
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I hope I didn't burger this one up!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orlanthi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?

Meatier showers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Travis-Tarbox
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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At a barbeque: Hey, who wants a burger?

Me!

Me tooo!

Meat ooo!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jollyflyingcactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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A ate a burger from a 1-armed chef.

He said it was a handburger.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrVegano
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What do wilderness survival experts use to cook their burgers

Bear Grills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/carcival
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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A father hands a burger to his son before vanishing

Before he leaves, the father says, β€œIt’s a bison burger”

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
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I had a coworker ask "How many burgers does a cow make?"

I look him dead in the eyes and reply, stonefaced

"None. Thier hooves can't form patties."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_Mustache
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Why didn't the fetus eat the burger?

Cuz he gestate

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HughJamerican
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I ordered my burger with no mayo.

When I took my first bite I said, β€œWhat the Hell Mann?!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xeazlouro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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What do you call a Burger King hamburger?

Crowned Beef.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shrek_is_russian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Julius Caesar was coming out of McDonald's. Brutus asked him if he liked the burger.

Caesar nodded in the affirmative and then added "ate two, Brutus."

(My dad actually texted me this joke this morning. I’m 31 years old.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vforvegas
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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Why are Wendy's burgers healthy?

It's a square meal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WEsellFAKEdoors
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I just ate a burger made out of bear meat

It was very gristly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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A man was enjoying his burger when someone broke the news to him that it was made out of 'Horse Meat'. Suddenly he went into a fit and started choking. Two hours upon rushing him to the hospital........

.......His condition is now known to be 'Stable'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball5deeper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I am herby Burger King
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/informationtiger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I was cooking burgers with my friend Nicky when I flipped one up high and hit him with it, just below the chin...

It was a Nick neck patty whack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prexzan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I tried the new McDonald's burger

It was a travisty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Her: I think we need to break up. I’m sick of your addiction to Burger King.

Me: Fine. Have it your way.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stand eating at Burger King

So IHop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Tried a new item on the menu, Pelican burger.

It was great, but the bill was enormous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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What’s the difference between a good burger and a shooting star?

The burger is very meaty, but the other is a little meteor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlabamaMayan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I farted in Burger King

It was an absolute whopper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dave11899
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My burger flew away today

I ordered it plane

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imkindaspiffy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
🚨︎ report
[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Why did everyone run out of Burger King?

Because someone dropped a Whopper

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πŸ‘€︎ u/greeknicko
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a luxury burger from Europe?

A Luxembourger!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/El_Duug
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My husband just dropped a bag of burgers on the floor

Then proceeded to say "well, if it wasn't ground beef before, it is now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdiTheFox
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
what do you call a restaurant that serves crap burgers??

...wacdonalds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Banoooooooo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Where The Burger King was born.
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Kids and I are making burgers for my wife on Mother's Day....

I hope they meat her expectations

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Whiskylover2121
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Actual conversation at my house while preparing burgers

Me: β€œBoys, do you want Gouda cheese on your burgers?”

Husband: β€œHurry up and answer your mom. Do you want Gouda cheese or bad cheese on your burger?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_polkadot
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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I went to the doctor and he told me: "Don't eat anything fatty." I asked: "What like pizzas or burgers?"

He replied: "No fatty. Just don't eat anything."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Kids, I'm telling you, burgers are ALWAYS female, and I'll prove it to you

let me introduce you to my burger... *drumroll*

Meet patty

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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While I was grilling, my son asked "can I get pickles on my burger, If it's not too much to ask?"

Me: It's not a big dill

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwanni
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
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My favorite way to get together with old friends is over burgers

I like to meat and ketchup

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlippedStitches
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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Dad what do you want on your burger?

A bun...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stonewalled89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why the hell anyone would make a plant based burger is beyond

meat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ldb477
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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I ordered a burger...

Me: Can i get a burger with no strawberries?

Women: Strawberries?

Me: No thanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brittishboy2000
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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My kids asked me why sesame seeds are on burger buns.

I replied,

β€œWell actually, sesame seeds were the ingredient that made hamburgers popular. Yup. Sesame seeds were the secret to success... ever since then, they’ve been on a roll.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the burger who kept making jokes?

He was on a roll!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thornkale
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who cooked a burger in the lab?

He called it a bunsen burger

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomSynesthetic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report

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