What did the citizens of the USSR make out of their potatoes?
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Feb 08 2021
Carnival is offering a deluxe trip where you leave your senior citizens and kids behind in the snow..
They are calling it βTed Cruiseβ
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Feb 19 2021
My buddy Ian is a strong proponent of state surveillance of citizens. I disagree and think it's a bad idea, so I said...
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Jan 19 2021
Germany is now advising its citizens to stock up on cheese and sausages.
The Wurst KΓ€se scenario has arrived.
ποΈ 18
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οΈ Oct 25 2020
So why do you want to become a citizen of Switzerland?
I don't have any particular reason why, but the flag definetly is a big plus.
inspired from r/memes
ποΈ 8
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οΈ Sep 09 2020
Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Sep 27 2020
Is there any hidden meaning to the line "Rosebud" from the movie Citizen Kane?
Or was it just the last thing he sled?
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Oct 15 2020
Why can't beggers be allowed in court for selection to the Jury box like any other non felon citizen?
Cuz, beggers can't be choosers!
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Sep 21 2020
TIL that there is one country that has the most well-rested citizens
ποΈ 8
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οΈ May 24 2020
What did the citizen say to the dictator?
Please stop "stalin" and feed us.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Jun 07 2020
How did citizens of Ancient Greece measure land for crops?
ποΈ 13
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οΈ Dec 30 2019
*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!
Donald : Wrong!
Donald : Im peach
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Dec 20 2019
I just asked a German citizen how many puns he made
He laughed and then said βnein.β
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Feb 12 2020
I made it a goal to become a legal citizen of Finland.
And I am not going to quit until I am Finish!
ποΈ 25
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οΈ Jan 01 2020
Germany has unveiled a new, healthy meal plan for all its citizens
They call it the Guten Free Diet.
ποΈ 6
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οΈ Sep 24 2019
If a guy moves to a country because it's flag is big plus, but does not become a citizen of said country,
Does that make him Swede-ish?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Feb 11 2020
Why do most senior citizens float?
Because they're just a hollow shell of what they used to be.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Jan 05 2019
As a US citizen, seeing all of these trade wars occuring with our country has me tarrified.
ποΈ 36
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οΈ Jun 30 2018
I heard a news story about a village where the citizens were dying of thirst,
I hope they get well soon
ποΈ 26
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οΈ Oct 29 2018
What do call a Senior Citizen when they use a Computer?
ποΈ 11
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οΈ Dec 17 2018
My local church decided to tear down their bell because it was too loud and disturbing citizens.
The construction workers won a No bell Peace prize.
ποΈ 9
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οΈ Jan 17 2019
Like every good citizen, I like to pay my taxes with a smile.
Unfortunately the government only accepts checks.
ποΈ 27
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οΈ Mar 13 2018
Can a man, on an island who speaks a different language, be a citizen of France?
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Jan 11 2017
What kind of diet did the Nazis recommend to citizens?
ποΈ 4
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οΈ Mar 18 2017
Citizen Kane is considered one of the greatest movies of all time largely for it's cinematography. One scene in particular is famous for it's "floor shot" for which they had to literally dig a pit in the middle of the stage to acheive the correct perspective.
ποΈ 22
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οΈ Oct 30 2016
The government is planning on sending citizens letters packed in dry ice.
It's a new form of subliminal messaging.
ποΈ 10
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οΈ Dec 21 2016
The Queen knighted British electrons to spy on ordinary citizens
Truly, the Brits are living in a modern day Sir Valence state.
ποΈ 7
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οΈ Jul 26 2017
What do you call someone who gets a cold the day they become a U.S citizen?
ποΈ 2
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οΈ Sep 15 2017
citizens of /r/dadjokes, our collective might is needed in a writing prompt in /r/writingprompts!
http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/2v6t3y/wp_humanity_has_developed_a_hypersensitivity_to/
We must write a wrong.
ποΈ 54
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οΈ Feb 09 2015
I got my friends whilst watching "Law Abiding Citizen"
So we were watching Law Abiding Citizen. At some point the main character is stuck in an isolation cell. For some odd reason he is using a phone and can actually call people. A friend asks how this is possible. My response:
He's got cell reception.
ποΈ 5
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οΈ Feb 17 2016
I was at a college career fair, and the CIA recruiter asked if I was a US citizen.
"Since birth!" ... He didn't look particularly amused.
ποΈ 3
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οΈ Feb 25 2015
I made it a goal to become a legal citizen of Finland and Iβm not gonna quit til Iβm Finish
ποΈ 36
π
οΈ Feb 21 2019
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