Me and my homies always laugh when someone mentions Usain Bolt

Its a running joke in our community

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smeathy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2021
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A screw, bolt, screwdriver, and wrench went on a double date together.

It was a tight situation

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redstardog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2021
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I'm a big hit every year at Christmas when I tell the Usain Bolt joke.

This is a running joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding

The whole process was riveting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mitalily
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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Which country did Usain Bolt move to after his retirement?

Iran.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together

At first it’s boring and then it’s Riveting!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAvacadoBandit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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The local Blacksmith got a new dog. When he got him home he made a bolt for the door.

His other dog sat in the corner. It's a boxer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthVarn
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together. /r/Jokes/comments/j6b0uc/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alasimhere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?

He was grounded

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cjfullinfaw07
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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How do lighting bolts laugh?

They crack up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xx420mcyoloswag
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Did you hear the news Usain Bolt has COVID19?

Its spreading fast!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I was telling jokes about nuts and bolts

But then I screwed up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hensfan85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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Usain Bolt has Corona virus

I guess there is something that can catch up to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gfy4dsny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..

It's a current affair.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/reachingnexus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What does a robot do after sex?

He nuts and bolts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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I remember the first time I bolted two things together with metal fasteners.

That was a riveting experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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What do you use to put a bolt in someones back?

A double crossbow.

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πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Do you want to hear a joke about a bolt of lightning?

Actually, maybe not. The end is rather shocking.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BanoffeeBoi35
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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Bought a dog from a blacksmith yesterday, got him home and the first thing he did was make a bolt for the door
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dmed24
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Usain bolt must be a fruit

Have you seen that mango?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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Dead bolt
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CP-23
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
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Someone once told me a story about screws, nuts and bolts.

It was Riveting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSquirrel73
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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Risky Dad Joke: My wife said the stretch marks on her legs looked like lightning bolts...

So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EricTheReddit
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2014
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What is it when a cannibal sees Usain Bolt?

Fast food.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/koreangamerguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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You know why they call "it" "screwing"?

Because when he's done, he nuts and bolts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dvmebi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
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I saw this woman flirting with Usain Bolt down the pub earlier.

β€œHmmm! She’s trying to pull a fast one” I thought

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Bolt crosses the Finish line to win another gold medal [2016]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_wastl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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What does a robot do at the end of a one-night stand?

He nuts and bolts!

Edit: wow! My first Silver. You guys are amazing.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedRocketMan_Y
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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I just finished a great documentary about the process by which metal sheets are fastened together with steel bolts.

It was riveting.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_iraq_such_as
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
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Did you hear about the Boston Dynamics home-protection robot that failed to stop intruders due to faulty shoulder bolts?

It was easily disarmed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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I read a book titled The Nuts & Bolts of Nuts & Bolts.

It was fasten-ating.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garbagearmy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2017
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My friend told me he could tighten bolts with his butt

Personally, I think he torques out of his ass

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2019
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Why do socket wrenches make bad lovers?

All they do is nut and bolt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chc36
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What's brown and runny?

Usain Bolt

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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I've been told a fat guy outran Bolt

He must be faster than light

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jacksonrr3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the opposite of Usain Bolt?

Me crazy nut.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanooooo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Usain Bolt sucks at playing hide and seek.

He can run but he can't hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I adopted my dog from a blacksmith

As soon as we got home, he made a bolt for the door.

πŸ‘︎ 242
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I adopted a dog from a Blacksmith...

As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do after sex?

Nuts and Bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ssr0203
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I got a dog from the blacksmiths the other day, but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EllieGeorgia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I apopted a dog from a blacksmith today

As soon as I got it home it made a bolt for the door

πŸ‘︎ 905
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πŸ‘€︎ u/acideath
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do after a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/portleycrue12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
🚨︎ report
I adopted my dog from a blacksmith.

As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door.

πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wintermoon01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Usain Bolt must be a fruit.

Have you seen that mango

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AssasinButt
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
🚨︎ report
What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/user7618
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report

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