A Bishop's Twitter Post
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealAjmera
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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I wonder if Anakin Skywalker was a big fan of Elvin Bishop

'cause he Fooled Around and Fell in Lava

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clambake42
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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A gay Rook is a Bishop because it isn't straight.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JaredLiwet
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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When the priest continued ministering, after having been officially censured, what did his bishop say to him?

What we have, here, is a failure to excommunicate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Czernobog44
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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The bishop who came to my church was an impostor.

Never once did he move diagonally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolmanc123
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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SLPT: If your priest or bishop is molesting your children, tell them to run away in a straight line as priests and bishops can only move diagonally. /r/ShittyLifeProTips/comm…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Heisenberg4269
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Why don't bishops normally get paid?

Because if they were, they would bi-shoppin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Averet101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
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The Church of England has finally approved of female bishops.

Now British women are finally free to move diagonally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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My wife says: The bishop was sitting only a few seats away from me.

My wife says "the bishop was sitting only a few seats away from me at the ceremony today!"

So I asked her, "were you sitting diagonally from him?"

She says "no?"

So I tell her, "then I don't think you were in any danger."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Th3Element05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2016
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The pope and a Mormon bishop walk into a bar.

The bartender said β€œwhat, is this some kind of a joke?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLion37
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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I heard that Ben bishop isn’t so good in the net

I guess he can only move diagonally

(Courtesy of my dad while watching the Dallas Stars game)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Primusmulti
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2019
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A parish priest was next in line to be made bishop. However, dues to the longevity of his superiors, it was over a decade before he was appointed.

Just another case of long time, no see.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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What did the Bishop say when he saw where the Pope slept?

HOLY SHEET!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyJamesJams
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danuser8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Chess pun
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Diamondsttv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Why do you call a person who has two shops?

A Bishop

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkKnight_Jedi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
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This is a halal pun, I checked
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2016
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Tourist goes to London and gets lost

Goes up to a Londoner to ask for directions.

Tourist: Excuse me, do you know Bishops Walk?

Londoner: Why yes, it is good for them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deadly_R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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A friend told me this one today

Some monks set up a cart and began selling flowers for funerals in front of an Irish Catholic church. The bishop was displeased as selling funeral arrangements was a source of revenue for the church so he hired his very large friend Hugh McWIlliams to chase them away. For weeks Hugh stood guard and the monks didn't return until the bishop decided that the matter was resolved and relieved Hugh of his duty. The very next day the monks returned with their cart of flowers and it was at this point the bishop realized: only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odhrain
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2013
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Dadjoked my girlfriend over text

GF: I just saw a beautiful pair of cardinals

Me: Did you see any bishops or priests?

She didn't respond.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twooof
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2015
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