Like most people, I was able to recite the entire alphabet from a young age. But then I became an ordained minister.

I now pronounce U man and wife.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stickyDan
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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My friend who grew up an orphan, was ordained as a priest yesterday.

He’s Father Les.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2019
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If I ever own a ranch in my old age

I'm definitely gonna call it "Pasture Prime"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jshrad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2016
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A donut walks into a church, approaches the priest and explains "Excuse me, Father, I don't mean to trouble you, but I'm very interested in joining the clergy."

"I was hoping that you could give me some pointers."

The priest, after taking a moment to accept the fact that he's speaking with a pastry, offers a warm smile in response.

"That is truly a noble calling." he says. "Most frequently, individuals who wish to become priests begin by growing active in their parish, then entering a seminary. While in attendance there, would-be clergy members work to excel in every regard, reaffirming their beliefs and devoting themselves to the path of righteousness. When the time comes, a given initiate will be ordained as a deacon, which will allow them passage to priesthood."

"That sounds like a very involved process." the donut confesses. "I'm not sure I have the time."

"If you don't mind me asking…" replies the priest. "What made you think you wanted to join the clergy if you're not willing to make a commitment to the process? Why do you want to be a priest at all?"

"Well…" the donut answers. "See, it's because I'm holey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
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Anthony Bourdain can now officiate weddings.

He is now Anthony Ordained.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2017
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