Why didnβt the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frogβs finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon
If you canβt get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.
What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, youβre bacon my heart melt.
What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.
First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trumpβs cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.
Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.
If Kevin Bacon doesnβt whisper βHere comes the Baconatorβ before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost
Iβll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge thatβs not bacon
If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?
This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.
If we donβt build a wall on our northern border, theyβll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.
I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.
My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaverβ¦because Iβm Canadian.
When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know youβre getting extr
... keep reading on reddit β‘Bartender says βGet out of here! We donβt serve breakfast!β
He had a lot of rashers
I consider myself a bacon connoisseur but Iβve never heard of that kind before, can anyone help me out on this?
Take away its tiny brooms π§Ή
You just need to take away their little brooms!
Cashier: Sir, please stop writing checks for each item separately.
But, smoking bacon will cure it.
It's called My Left Footloose
It wasnβt a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush
The second cowboy is relieved to be alive, and thankful that he knew that that was no bacon tree.
It was a ham bush
This is no Bacon Tree, this is a Ham Bush.
A complete breakfast
...but only one strip at a time.
Hamnesia
I got a badge and a sash that read, "Halal Monitor"
He said "No, fatty, don't eat anything!"
One runs up to eat the bacon, when all of the sudden he starts getting shot at from out of nowhere. He yells to his friend, "watch out! It's not a bacon tree. It's a hambush!"
*Borrowed from a friend who is very much dad material.
But he said, "No fatty. Stop eating!"
I said "No, I'd rather fry one."
2 guys are walking through the desert completely starving. The first guy sees a bacon tree and takes off running towards it screaming, "We're saved, it's a bacon tree!" All the sudden he's under fire from all directions. He's completely riddled with bullets. The second guy catches up and kneels down beside him. With his last breath he says, "It wasn't a bacon tree, it was a hambush."
When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.
The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"
The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"
He was Cured!
Sausages.
Thought of this at work while I was cooking.
Thankfully he thinks I can be cured.
The year is 1541 and the French have just begun colonization in North America. Young Jean-Luc is in his newly crafted home when suddenly his friend Jean-Pierre bursts through his front door. 'Jean Luc!' he exclaims. 'You weel nevar believe! I 'ave 'eard word of a bacon tree!'. Jean-Luc looks confused and scoffs 'Imposseeble! You cannot grow BaycON on a tree!'. 'Come! And I weel show you ze bacon tree!'. So Jean-Luc & Jean-Pierre set off down the river, with Jean-pierre providing direction to the enigmatic 'bacon tree'. Finally, they pulled over onto a small beach that lead to a large forest. 'Stay 'ere and watch ze canoe, and I weel bring ze bacon back from ze bacon tree!' said John-Pierre. Hours go by and John-Pierre hasn't returned. As night falls, and Jean-Luc is about to enter the forest to look for his friend, he hears a rustling in the nearby brush, to which Jean-Pierre stumbles out, bloody and with arrows through his legs and arms. 'Jean-Pierre! What 'appened!!' exclaimed Jean-luc. 'Turns out it was not a bacOn tree.....it was an 'AMBUSH!!!'
They take their seat and ask the bartender for two draft beers.
The bartender looks at them and says βsorry boys, we donβt serve breakfast here.β
To say the least, i was looking pretty CRISP.
You take away their brooms
How do you get Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan???
You take away its little brooms!!!
Take away their brooms.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
The bartender says βsorry, we donβt serve breakfast.β
Bartender says βget out of here, we donβt serve breakfast!β
Take away it's tiny brooms.
You take away its tiny little broom!
You take away their little brooms
Smoking Bacon will Cure it.
Take away their brooms.
But smoking bacon will cure it.
You take their little brooms away.
