Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jechaking
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
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I said hi to alexander graham bells wife..

It fell on deaf ears.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FigeyAce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...

But it was just my cold field.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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Rings some bells
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"

And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dunnnnggggg

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.

It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell

In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

There was noel

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Did you hear about the aggressive Bell Ringer?

He tolled everyone off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crow930
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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I went to go see the liberty bell...

It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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I'm starting up a festive business where I attach Christmas bells to men's neckwear..

Good Tie-dings to all men!

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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There was an inventor in the late 1800s who despised bells, he designed a device that would eliminate every bell in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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What did Elijah Wood name his shop that sells only bells?

Lord Of The Dings

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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A church was hiring a new bell ringer

And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.

"I'll show you",said Stan.

They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.

"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"

"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.

All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.

"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.

Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."

"But his face sure rings a bell"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pos-tmodern_man
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
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What do you call an Expensive Bell Tower?

A Bill-Ding!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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My friend bought a new door bell the other day, I asked what’s it called.

β€œIsabell”,he said

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Tinkle bell
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πŸ‘€︎ u/00eleven
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Why do ghosts avoid Bed Bath and Beyond after eating Taco Bell?

They don’t want to get the sheets!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1derin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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An Inventor in the 1800s created a device that instantly eliminated all bells in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize for his scientific achievements.

edit:OC

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πŸ‘€︎ u/max69well
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Pringle Bells
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punderants
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Why they put a bell around a cow's neck?

Because its horn doesn't ring.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/creedwolf_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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What's the deal with a door and a bell?

On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?

It's a dumb-bell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wholesome_cream
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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What did the pot smoking church bell say at 1 AM?

BONGGGGGGGGG

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πŸ‘€︎ u/squadly_santana
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I don't like my neighbor, so I stole his bell.

He got the no Bell prize for being a jerk.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries

the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brewingcode
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to

taco bout it?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seegerts86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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[request] need a counter pun for this taco Bell ad imgur.com/Sa46xQ4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PreludeKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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What sound does a weed bell make?

Bong

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CartertheFarter87
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Why do Cows wear the bells

Because their horns don't work. Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JNaik14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aashma360
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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Why do cows wear a bell?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘︎ 880
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rtgurley
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AUTOSHAWT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fullinversion82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don't work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work

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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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What's brown, smelly, and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/renegadehamster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SausageOnToast
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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Why do cows have bells around their necks?

Because their horns don’t work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gmaxis
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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