Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:

"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2021
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jechaking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 26 2021
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I said hi to alexander graham bells wife..

It fell on deaf ears.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FigeyAce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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I thought I could hear Tubular Bells on my farm this winter...

But it was just my cold field.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
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Rings some bells
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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A bell curve walked into a plastic surgeon's office and said "Doctor, I don't like the way I look"

And the doctor said, "You look normal to me".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EgonVector
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dunnnnggggg

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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Many people are unaware that Sherlock Holmes is based on Doctor Joseph Bell

In his practice, Dr. Bell sometimes had to treat constipation. That's how he learned to de-deuce.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NathanielleS
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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To avoid bear attacks, carry little bells and pepper spray.

It’s also helpful to know the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung has plants and fruit material in it. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper spray.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerebolic-parabellum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

There was noel

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/updatesforassholes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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Did you hear about the aggressive Bell Ringer?

He tolled everyone off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/crow930
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 07 2020
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I went to go see the liberty bell...

It wasn't all that it was cracked up to be

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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I'm starting up a festive business where I attach Christmas bells to men's neckwear..

Good Tie-dings to all men!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a-long_way_from_home
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
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There was an inventor in the late 1800s who despised bells, he designed a device that would eliminate every bell in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize

πŸ‘οΈŽ 112
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/max69well
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 07 2020
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What did Elijah Wood name his shop that sells only bells?

Lord Of The Dings

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2020
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A church was hiring a new bell ringer

And they interviewed an applicant named Stan. Stan had no arms due to an accident so the hiring manager asked how he would ever be able to do the job.

"I'll show you",said Stan.

They walked up flight after flight of stairs to the Bell tower all the while the manager wondered how Stan would ever be able to do the job. His questions were soon answered when after reaching the Bell tower, Stan took off running striking the bell face first. Gooong goes the bell. Stan picks himself up, takes off running face first at the bell, Gooong.

"Hold, on. You'll hurt yourself."

"I'm tough," said Stan, " "and I really needed this job"

"Ok," said the manager, leaving Stan to do the job.

All day the bell rang on the hour correctly and the manager thought too soon that he had misjudged Stan. Finally, at six in the evening there were only three gongs, then a commotion. Going out to see what was going on he found Stan dead on the street below. Apparently he had become disoriented from head trauma and missed the bell entirely falling to the street below.

"Who was this man, Who was he?" asked the crowd.

Not wanting to admit liability for the accident, the manager said "I don't know."

"But his face sure rings a bell"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_pos-tmodern_man
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 18 2020
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A priest in a big church in Paris has a job interview with a new bell ringer. The priest asks β€œwhy should I hire you?” The applicant responded β€œI have a special talent!”

β€œOh, and what is this special talent?” Asked the priest.

The applicant walked up to the bells and slammed his face into the bell.

At first the priest was taken aback, but the sound from the bells was heavenly!

β€œYou’re hired!!” He exclaimed.

The applicant jumped around in excitement and slipped, falling off the side of the belfry to the ground below.

The priest ran downstairs and outside to the sidewalk where the bell ringer lay dead.

A bystander asked β€œwho is he?”

The priest responded β€œI don’t know his name, but his face sure rings a bell!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EveryoneGoesToRicks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 19 2020
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/catchingfire3HG
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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What do you call an Expensive Bell Tower?

A Bill-Ding!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/YourAnimateJonnyV
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 15 2020
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My friend bought a new door bell the other day, I asked what’s it called.

β€œIsabell”,he said

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SleepyCrow07
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
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Tinkle bell
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/00eleven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2020
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Why do ghosts avoid Bed Bath and Beyond after eating Taco Bell?

They don’t want to get the sheets!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1derin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
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An Inventor in the 1800s created a device that instantly eliminated all bells in the world.

He was later awarded the Nobel prize for his scientific achievements.

edit:OC

πŸ‘οΈŽ 63
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/max69well
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2019
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Pringle Bells
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Punderants
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2020
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Why they put a bell around a cow's neck?

Because its horn doesn't ring.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 25
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/creedwolf_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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What's the deal with a door and a bell?

On their own they are not really cute, but together they are adorable!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Soft_Chicken
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2020
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Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?

It's a dumb-bell.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wholesome_cream
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2020
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What did the pot smoking church bell say at 1 AM?

BONGGGGGGGGG

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/squadly_santana
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2020
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I don't like my neighbor, so I stole his bell.

He got the no Bell prize for being a jerk.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thereligiousatheists
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2020
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my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to

taco bout it?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/seegerts86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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What's brown and swings from the bell tower ?

The lunch bag of Notre Dame

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2020
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I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries

the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brewingcode
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2020
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[request] need a counter pun for this taco Bell ad imgur.com/Sa46xQ4
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PreludeKilla
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2019
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What sound does a weed bell make?

Bong

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CartertheFarter87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2019
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Why do Cows wear the bells

Because their horns don't work. Β―_(ツ)_/Β―

πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JNaik14
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 477
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aashma360
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 06 2020
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Why do cows wear a bell?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 879
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bjornsbestfriend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 245
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thisDiff
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 21 2020
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What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

πŸ‘οΈŽ 53
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rtgurley
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AUTOSHAWT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 216
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fullinversion82
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have bells?

Because their horns don't work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fingadod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zuckerschneggle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do cows have bells around their necks?

Because their horns don’t work.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gmaxis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What's brown, smelly, and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/renegadehamster
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2020
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What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SausageOnToast
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Joesdad65
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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