A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
My dad attacked me with a vacuum cleaner today, yelling.....
A man was just attacked by someone holding a compass
He didn't know where to turn, before things went south.
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...
... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.
My Roomba accidentally went outside our front door, and the neighbourhood animals immediately started attacking it.
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it well. Started insulting and attacking everyone and threw his own feces on the walls.
I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.
I don't think the author even realized what they did! Context: the article is about killer whales attacking boats.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him is that a Fret!
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
The police were under heavy attack of the flies
They had to call the SWAT team!
Dad has a heart attack
Dad:has a heart attack
Dad:Call me an ambulance...
Son: uhhh... You're an ambulance....
Dad:....
Dad: That's my boy...dead
I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9.
The odds were against me.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keeps attacking him.
I guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
A local man was arrested for attacking his neighbor with a taser that didn't work.
He was charged with assault without battery.
I was attacked by a flock of sheep and was sent to the hospital...
Luckily, I was only grazed.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
a bunch of police got attacked by a giant fly
it was so big they had to call in the SWAT team
Why do the lion not attack the farm?
He was a little bit sheepish.
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked.
Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"
Edit: Wow! My first Silver and my first Gold! I am honored. What an amazing community. It's a great place to visit after a challenging day.
I just got attacked by a gang of mime artists...
They did unspeakable things to me.
What did the giraffe say before being attacked by a lion?
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication.
It’s for Hispanic attacks.
I was attacked by a gang of people with Obsessive–compulsive disorder.
Why did the Soviet Union not attack Germany right away?
My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said “that gave me a heart attack!”
I told him “actually that was a stroke”
The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Donald, Duck" anymore when the president is about to be attacked
But their grandchildren still listen, in spite of rule 4, because hearing dear old grand-da be excited about his stories is just so sweet, whether he remembers tellin them or not
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I was just attacked by a man with a rack of spices!
It was a salt and peppery.
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
A man attacked someone with a small device for powering electronics
He was later charged with battery
I’ve just been attacked by a herd of cows.
I’m ok, but I’ve been badly grazed.
What happens if you were attacked by Pikachu's lightning?
Some guy just said he was going to attack me with the neck of a guitar.
I said, “Is that a fret?”
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him..
Guess that's what I get for having a pure bread dog.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him.
Guess that's what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
I cant take My dog to the pond anymore cuz the geese keep attacking him.
I guess thats whats I deserve for having a Pure bread dog
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication
It's for Hispanic attacks
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