How was the firing squad?
Group chat FIRING UP with 🔥 puns!
My friend Anne has the habit of hiring & firing people...
I hate to see someone Anne employed.
What did people say when a bumblebee started firing a projectile weapon?
I met with my friend who said he developed a weapon to harness the wind and propel it like a bullet. We took turns firing at a target he had in his yard...
When the police were chasing me I only just got away by firing myself out of a bow...
I tell you, it was a narrow escape.
I have just been firing my laser gun in a church.
I've practiced firing my shotgun a lot but I don't think I'm improving.
I'm firing the man who looks after my allotment on mental health grounds
Why did Joseph keep bringing up tractors on the firing line?
The marine instructor told us to stand down at the firing range, so I unloaded my weapon.
Yes, it was a strange time to masturbate and eventually lead to my dishonorable discharge.
When you remove bad friends from your life, you’re basically firing them...
... because your friends are your company.
I was barred from a recent foam-firing toy tournament for lighting my darts on fire.
They didn't approve of my scorched nerf policy.
Why did the gun stop firing and started to play music?
At a family dinner for Thanksgiving (Canada), everyone is firing off their best potato puns.
I pipe up with "Please, you guys, stop. If you keep this up, I'm going to die of Tuber-culosis."
The entire table emitted a collective groan at me, and one of my cousins just shook his head at me. No one made a potato pun again that night.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
FYI I’m ready for your best fire puns.
I just got fired, and as severance, my company gave me a bag of used coffee.
They said it was grounds for termination.
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what’s on the outside?
I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.
My boss is threatening to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch it might be me.
- I once got fired from a canned juice company.
- I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently I couldn't concentrate.
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant’s head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke’s son and knocked him off the battle field.
Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
Why are firemen so passionate about fire?
You could say that they have a burning interest.
There was a fire at the shoe factory...
Luckily no soles were lost
Our local fire station burnt down today.
Apparently, somebody left the irony on.
Why was the music teacher fired?
For having students read band books.
I got fired from Uber.
Apparently they didn't like it when I went the extra mile.
I got fired from a calendar factory today.
They didn't like it that I took a few days off.
No one could figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
But Quasimodo had a hunch.
i cant believe i got fired from the calendar factory, all i did was take a day off.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
Why did Picasso get fired from the cement factory?
His ideas weren't concrete enough
Breaking news: Fire at Circus
Fire chief says it’s pretty in tents
What do you call an onion that can spit fire?
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills?
Why do chickens always get fired from jobs?
They always cluck out too early
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
Ebay is so useless
I searched for lighters but ti only came up whith 14,852 matches
My friend got fired from his job at the dairy farm because of his erratic behaviour.
He was a danger to himself and udders.
i was training in the military, and our instructor told us to fire at will.
few months later, i was court marshalled for murdering a superior by the name of "drill sergeant will"
Why did the tire get fired from its job?
It couldn’t stand the pressure
Boss said he’d fire me if I made any more country puns
It was the end of my Korea
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Why was the cow fired from his job at the methane plant?
The boss was tired of his gaslighting bullshit
Why was the taxi driver fired?
He always goes the extra mile
I got fired from my job at the bank after just one day
A woman asked me to check her balance so I pushed her over.
What did the Mexican fire chief name his son
I just got fired from my job as a taxy driver.
Turns out people don't like it when you go the extra mile for them.
How do you tell the difference between a chemical fire and an electrical fire?
With a fire distinguisher.
I would love to get paid to sleep.
If H20 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside?
If H2O is on the inside of fire hydrants, what’s on the outside?
Did you hear about the Circus fire??
Did you hear about the circus fire?
I can't believe I just got fired from the calendar factory...
All I did was take a day off.
What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills ?
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory!!!
all I did was take a day off
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