Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait! I can explain everything.
What did the officer say to comfort the foreigner he was arresting?
Don’t worry! These cuffs were designed for two-wrists.
What do you call the vice squad officers that specialize in arresting prostitutes?
What do you call a TV show about arresting people for having bad teeth?
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested.
I hear they're gonna give him a really tough sentence.
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the street.
A semicolon got arrested
It got 2 back to back sentences.
I got arrested at NASA.
I didn't understand the gravity of the situation.
Edit: thanks for the awards, kind strangers!
Gamora: "I am going to die surrounded by the biggest idiots in the galaxy."
My GF dressed up as a police woman and told me I was under arrest under the suspicion that I was good in bed c
After 3 mins all charges were dropped due to lack of evidence
Just seen the police arrest a dog that was giving birth at the side of the road.
Apparently it was littering.
They arrested the arsonist in a pie truck
If you are on the first floor of a building, and someone one the second floor is being arrested, are you...
Why was the duck arrested?
My local barber was arrested for dealing drugs in my neighborhood.
I've gone to him for 5 years and I never knew he was a barber.
Why did the clock get arrested?
French swing-dancing flash mob exclaims in dismay at being arrested for disorderly conduct.
A police officer told a coffee maker "you're under arrest"!
The coffee maker asked "on what grounds"?
Why did the tyrannosaurus get arrested?
I know a guy who got arrested for offering fraudulent plastic surgery.
He’d give people huge, round hickeys and then charge them for performing “Lip-O-Suction”.
A German women was arrested for faking her taxes
If Optimus Prime finds your joke funny, you might be arrested.
You’ll be charged with vehicular man’s laughter.
Did you hear about the thief who was re-arrested in the courtroom?
Two guys were arrested for stealing a calendar... They both got 6 months
A fraudster who installs kitchen worktops for a living got arrested
Police say he was charged with counter fitting
Why did the T-Rex behind the blackjack table get arrested?
He was small arms dealing
I got arrested for stepping on a cheerio
Guess the authorities thought I was a cereal killer
I was arrested for downloading the entirety of Wikipedia
I told them I could explain everything.
The police just showed up at my house and arrested my bottle of water. They said he was wanted in 3 states...
Why was the ghost that haunted the pharmacy arrested?
Illegal possession of drugs.
A mime broke his left arm in a bar fight and got arrested,
He still has the right to remain silent.
The cops arrested 2 kids at the park. One was eating battery acid, the other was eating fireworks
They charged one and let off the other!
Why was the Pepsi employee arrested?
Because he was selling Coke.
Btw this is my first post on Reddit :)
Why couldn't Abraham Lincoln be arrested?
Was watching Arrested Development the other day and my girlfriend made a groaner of a dad joke.
Lucille: “I have to get Dusty ice cream.”
GF: “Dusty ice cream doesn’t sound very good”
The police arrested my daughter claiming she had burnt our house down.
A cannibal in Northern Germany is arrested while grilling beef patties.
He is accused of eating both hamburgers and Hamburgers.
Why was the pancake arrested?
I was placed under arrest for downloading the whole Wikipedia website
I told the officer "Wait! I can explain everything!!"
The police arrested a duck.
Police chief: "Why did you arrest Steve Carell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski, Jenna Fischer, B. J. Novak, and Ed Helms?"
Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir."
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
Just heard that the Energizer Bunny has been arrested
He's been charged with battery
Fred Flintstone was arrested for drug possession.
Don't worry, he's getting the help he needs. He's already checked into Rehabba-dabba-doo!
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Man: Wait, I can explain everything!
‘I’m arresting you for illegally downloading Wikipedia!’
‘Wait! I can explain everything!’
Cop: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!
Me: Wait, I can explain everything!
Cop: I'm arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia database and selling it.
Man: Wait! I can explain everything!
Officer "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Me ,"No, wait. I can explain everything!"
The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested..
I hear they are gonna give him a really tough sentence.
The police arrested a dog for giving birth on the side of the road ...
They charged her with littering!
The police arrested to kids yesterday, one was eating fireworks, and the other was drinking battery acid
They charged one, and let the other off
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