44 Hilarious Ark Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

Ark pun.

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👤︎ u/xo1opossum

📅︎ Aug 21 2018

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Where did Noah put all the bee’s in his Ark?

In the Ark Hives.

👍︎ 13k

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👤︎ u/JP-Seven

📅︎ Sep 09 2020

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Need an ark?

I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/Gwona

📅︎ Oct 21 2020

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Many years after the great flood, God came to Noah again and spoke: “Noah, it is my wish that you build another ark.”

Rather worried, Noah said “But my Lord, have the people not been good this time? Must there be another flood?”

“No, there will not be a flood, the people have been good.” Said the Lord.

“Then why another ark?” Asked Noah.

“I wish for this ark to only house fish.” The Lord replied.

A slightly confused Noah responded “Okay... I shall do as you wish my Lord.”

“But not just any fish; only carp.” The Lord said unto him.

Noah, now more bemused, replied “Uh- okay my Lord.”

“One more thing.” The Lord said unto him “it needs to have multiple levels.”

“Are you sure my Lord? What is the purpose of this? What on earth is it all for?” Noah pressed.

And God said: “I want you to build a multi-story carp-ark.”

Passed from my father unto me, to pass onto my son when he becomes a father.

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👤︎ u/Dongwaffler

📅︎ Oct 08 2020

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2020 is getting worse, if you guys need an ark

I NOAH GUY

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👤︎ u/ineedapapaya

📅︎ Sep 18 2020

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Why didn't the animals play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah sat on the deck.

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👤︎ u/big_macaroons

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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According to a survey, the favourite film of most hipsters is “Raiders of the Lost Ark”.

It’s the first Indie movie.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 03 2020

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You need help with an Ark?

Don’t worry, I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/RachelSambr

📅︎ May 03 2020

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Do you need an ark?

Because i Noah guy

Saw this on r/noahgettheboat. Cred to u/ryanpearson727

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👤︎ u/Evann808_

📅︎ Feb 19 2020

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God said to Noah that there was a dinosaur on the ark and Noah replied only with No-ah there isn’t ~joke from when I was 5

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👤︎ u/HuntrixMata

📅︎ Jan 25 2019

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As the animals left the ark, Noah told them to go forth and multiply. After some time, Noah came upon two snakes who were just lying there sunning themselves.

So Noah asked them, ”Why aren’t you multiplying?”

The snakes replied, “We can’t, we’re adders.”

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod

📅︎ Apr 28 2019

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What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?

Floodlights and ark lights.

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/DoctorScherzando

📅︎ Apr 09 2019

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Why did the two worms have to leave their apple to get into Noah's ark?

Because they could only go in pears

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👤︎ u/unclerudy

📅︎ Feb 08 2019

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I think Noah's Ark should have had a barrier around it to keep out the Mexicans.

Noah fence.

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👤︎ u/teuast

📅︎ Apr 20 2018

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How come none of the animals on the ark could play cards?

Because Noah was standing on the deck

Credit to my dad who said this 2 seconds ago

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👤︎ u/Dtjordan68

📅︎ Oct 28 2018

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Any of you guys looking to buy an Ark?

I can help. I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Feb 01 2018

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Me: Dad do you know how to build an ark?

Dad: Well I do Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/meltedpickless

📅︎ Jul 15 2018

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The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals...

...and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants.

Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw.

"What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!"

"Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."

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👤︎ u/bittibitti

📅︎ Feb 01 2018

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If you need an ark!

I No-ah guy!

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👤︎ u/TheIndrajitKar

📅︎ Sep 19 2020

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Need an ark ?

I Noah guy

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Sep 22 2020

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Does anybody need an ark?

I Noah guy.

👍︎ 13

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👤︎ u/That-Big-Man-J

📅︎ Jul 24 2020

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Hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark...

...probably because it was the first Indie film.

👍︎ 404

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👤︎ u/Brizzo7

📅︎ Sep 19 2019

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Anyone need an ark?

I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/UriahPeabody

📅︎ May 23 2019

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Need an Ark?

I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/H2O_is_Great

📅︎ Dec 05 2019

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Need an Ark built?

I Noah guy

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👤︎ u/ootz1986

📅︎ Jan 27 2020

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If you need an ark

I happen to noah guy

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/luxmainbtw

📅︎ Feb 07 2020

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Does any one Noah guy who can build me an ark

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👤︎ u/PilotDave3

📅︎ Oct 30 2019

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Why didn't the animals play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah sat on the deck.

👍︎ 15

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👤︎ u/big_macaroons

📅︎ Jul 26 2019

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Wanting to build an ark?

I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/YeetManJaxon

📅︎ May 28 2019

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Need to build an ark?

I noah guy

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👤︎ u/x_Parzival_

📅︎ Aug 30 2019

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Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?

Because Noah was standing on the deck.

👍︎ 17

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👤︎ u/Mistah-S

📅︎ Jun 03 2019

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If you need an ark, just hit me up cuz I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/christmasbush

📅︎ Mar 29 2019

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Where did Noah keep his bees? In the Ark hives.

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👤︎ u/thebongreaper666

📅︎ Mar 06 2019

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The animals on the Ark wanted to play cards but they couldn't.

Noah was standing on the deck.

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👤︎ u/big_macaroons

📅︎ Oct 26 2018

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If you need to build an ark...

I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/hotsprings1234

📅︎ May 25 2019

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I heard you need to build an ark,

I Noah guy

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👤︎ u/Andyh10s

📅︎ Mar 26 2019

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Anyone need an ark welder?

I Noah guy

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👤︎ u/Degtyrev

📅︎ Mar 04 2019

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Need an Ark?

I Noah guy.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/lala_vroom

📅︎ May 08 2019

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Why did the 2 worms get out of the apple before boarding Noah's Ark?

Because they had to go in pears.

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/2donutkid2

📅︎ Feb 06 2019

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Need an ark?

I noah guy.

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/MysteryOrange7

📅︎ Jan 17 2019

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Does anyone need an ark?

‘Cause I Noah guy.

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👤︎ u/Temporary_turbulance

📅︎ Dec 24 2018

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What kind of lights did Noah use on his Ark?

Floodlights

👍︎ 239

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👤︎ u/Theatreofmemes

📅︎ Oct 08 2017

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What kind of lights did Noah have on the Ark?

Flood lights.

👍︎ 54

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👤︎ u/cymyk

📅︎ Nov 19 2017

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If anyone needs an ark,

I Noah guy

👍︎ 12

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👤︎ u/Cumdumpster212121

📅︎ Sep 11 2018

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