Two antlers got married

They ant-eloped.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Le_DERp_Diego
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
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Officer: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an altar of antlers

Detective: Dear god

Officer: Yes most likely

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Did you hear the one about the buck who shed its antlers?

Oh, never mind... It's pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavideoandPhoto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
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What do you call a Male deer with only 1 antler?

50 cents

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kmusic12
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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It’s weird that male deer have antlers...

You’d think they’d have Unclers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jhuderis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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Sometimes a doe can actually grow antlers

I guess you could call them transgen-deer

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoAwayYouSTINK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
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On a photo shop battle about a deer with a spider web between its antlers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NearlyHame
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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I saw 2 ski racks on a new F150 that made them look like antlers...

It was a young 4-point truck

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomorepasswords
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
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Three boys go into a haunted house. One brought a knife, one brought a gun and one brought some cough drops

They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.

Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.

As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.

They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.

Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?

They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.

"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".

They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.

But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.

The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.

And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!

Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?

"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"

In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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If ants had horns what will they be called?

antlers..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dullbrowny
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
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Girlfriend's uncle at dinner

Waitress: What would you like for dessert?

Uncle: Chocolate mousse... with no antlers, they get stuck in my throat.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmce01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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Straight from my latin teacher.

She was wearing antlers for 'Saturnalia', and upon receiving a compliment for it, she said, "Thank you, I'm trying to branch out."

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2015
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Am I becoming a dad?

So I bought a shirt a while ago that has a deer in the classic CMYK color scheme with it's antlers in he form of hashtags. My older cousin asked me why I got it while eating our Easter dinner. I replied with, "It only cost me ten bucks" My little cousin laughed and everyone else groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uldyr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2015
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Vacation with my step dad

We were in Alaska on vacation and they had bones if all the different types of animals that lived in the park we were at. They also had a lot of antlers. My mom and I were looking at some furs that they had on display with our backs to my dad. All of a sudden we hear him moan and say " OH! I'm so horny!" When we turned around he was holding the antlers on his head.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theeharryone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
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