From my 8yo son: How are dogs and dogwoods alike?

They both have bark!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doryenas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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Women and men are not alike

Period

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πŸ‘€︎ u/codealtecdown
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2021
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How are chiropractors and public relations specialists alike?

One is a spine doctor and the other is a spin doctor, but both give things a new twist!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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How are Mewtwo and a slow rastafarian alike?

They're both pokey, mon!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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What do you call two farts that sound alike?

Tutankhamun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jamesstylez83
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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This might be my crowning achievement. If it's been done before, I apologize for nothing. Grape minds think alike- nope wrong fruit.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Davebelieves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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It’s amazing how most jars look alike...

The resemblance is uncanny

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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The world has been taken storm by jokes exploiting the different possible meanings of words or the fact that there are words which sound alike but have different meanings.

Stay safe everyone. This is a global pundemic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadnav
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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A question for wrestling fans and campers alike...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CodyGriffin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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My brother and I are very competitive at work but exactly alike. What takes me 3 months to complete, my brother . . .

dozen weeks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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There is no way that men and women can be alike....

Because there is a Vas deferens ("vast difference") between them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/w00dw0rk3r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
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I once knew a pair of twins that looked exactly alike, except that one of them was missing an eye.

They were dentical twins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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An octopus’s limbs look exactly alike

They’re itentacle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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How are prostate exams and bank robberies alike?

They're both stick-ups.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nightreach1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Shopping malls are essentially all alike ...

 
  ... "When you've seen one, you've seen a mall."

 
        ^((Source: Kiplinger Magazine, 1974)^)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tqgibtngo
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2017
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Son: "Did you hear about those lunatics? They've been troubling humans and the animals alike!"

Dad: "Really?! Last time I checked there were no ticks on the moon."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skaa0
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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Why do slices of toast look alike?

Because they are breadren

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrPantyThief
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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Great mimes think alike.

They just don't talk about it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papashuga
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
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What do all police officers act alike?

Because they're COP-ies!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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You wanna know how you and lemon pie are alike?

Classic Dad joke this guy told at my work today.

I asked my wife this weekend, "You wanna know how you and lemon pie are alike?" She said, "Yeah". So, I told her, "'cause you're wearing maaaaaaa raaaaang".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/khw57
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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Anytime someone says "Great minds think alike" to my dad he says...

"And so do ours!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flippflopp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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I once knew twins who were exactly alike except one was missing an eye

They were dentical twins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gaudiocomplex
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
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