Itโ€™s amazing how most jars look alike...

The resemblance is uncanny

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dubaidadjokes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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An octopusโ€™s limbs look exactly alike

Theyโ€™re itentacle.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/crazyeyedmcgee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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Why do slices of toast look alike?

Because they are breadren

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DrPantyThief
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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I once knew a pair of twins that looked exactly alike, except that one of them was missing an eye.

They were dentical twins.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 04 2018
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I was watching a documentary on Chinese engineering.

They were discussing the Three Gorges Dam on the Yangtze River, the worlds largest hydroelectric dam.

My wife walks in and asks, โ€œIs that the Hoover Dam?โ€

Me: โ€œNo, itโ€™s the Three Gorges Dam in China.โ€

Her: โ€œOh, I guess all dams just look alike.โ€

Me: โ€œHoney, donโ€™t be a dam racist!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BrainPhD
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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The criminal charge

A young lady had a problem because this other gal looked almost exactly like her, but had a nasty vocabulary. Nobody wanted to be around her anymore because the foul-mouthed girl really harmed her reputation.

So the lady in question decided to push the foul-mouthed look-alike off of the top roof of the Empire State Building. However, after doing this, she was soon arrested. Guess what she was charged with?

Making an obscene clone fall.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Spotted_Lady
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
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The story of my friend Sam

HI Iโ€™m Tim the turtle, yes a real turtle. And I would like to tell you the story of my best friend. I once had a friend by the name of Sam. Sam of course was a clam. A real live honest to goodness clam. He was my best buddy, but unfortunately he smoked and drank and ran around with loose women (and a few men). I was more of the goodie two shoes type. I never drank, never smoked, I didnโ€™t even swear. But for some reason Sam and I were the best of friends. I guess you can say we were the epitome of opposites attracting. One day as we were hanging out walking along the beach Sam, after his fifth cigarette in a row, had a heart attack and died. I was heart broken. My best friend died right there in front of me and he never repented his evil ways. I was sure he would spend eternity in damnation. Sigh. Being the goodie two shoes type I was still extremely healthy well into my old age. I missed my friend terribly for many years. On his birthday I would host a party and invite his old stripper girlfriends and poker buddies around to relive stories. It was always a fun evening, but in the end left me more lonely than before. Eventually, my broken heart couldnโ€™t stand it anymore and I too died. I was pleased to find that there was a heaven. Being an almost saint I was whisked directly past the line to the Pearly Gates to be greeted by St. Peter. A big grin erupted on his face and he came right around his desk to give me a great big hug. โ€œTimโ€, he said, โ€œYou have been such a good person back on earth that God has asked me to grant you any wish you would like before even entering heavenโ€. To say I was flabbergasted is an understatement. I thought for a minute, I guess God expected me to ask for more time on earth, but I knew what I really wanted to do was to visit with my old friend Sam. So I asked. Poor St. Peter didnโ€™t know what to say. You know Sam is in Hell right? Well I knew that was a strong possibility so I wasnโ€™t surprised. Peter excused himself for a while and went to check with the big guy himself. He was gone quite some time, but eventually he returned. Peter said my request was approved, but under a few conditions. First, I would have to carry a golden harp as a passport back into heaven. This harp could only be carried by a good soul so I couldnโ€™t be replaced by a look alike demon. Second, I would have to return by midnight. God didnโ€™t want me to face too much temptation. I agreed to these conditions and took the highway down to hell. (Nope n

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/dendari
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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My 5 year old has no idea he's adopted

You'd think he would figure it out since we look nothing alike. He probably won't make it to his 18th birthday, so we try to make his life as happy and fulfilling as we can. Although sometimes I think we may spoil him and give him a few too many treats. I've tried telling him before, but I don't think he understands. He just gives me this weird look and wags his tail.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SHavens
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2017
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When my dad forgets my name...

I walk into the room, and my dad almost calls me by my older brother's name (we look a lot alike).

Dad: Oh hey Ry... uh.. Chuck, Henry, Fred. What do we call you again?

Me: Thanks dad..

Dad: I like Fred, I'll call you Fred. He chuckles and says: Go help bring in groceries.

Me: .....

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/steviefrench
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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Got my prom table with this one.

We were all at prom last Friday (5/30) and we were all eating our meals.

I got up and said "I would like to make a toast!!"

Everyone stopped, looked at me, and raised their glasses.

Then, I said, "But I can't, because I don't have any butter!"

Groans were made by women and children alike.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MILANOVIC
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 02 2014
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Beaten to the punch by my dad

We were heading south along a freeway when my mom pointed out the passenger window saying "Look at that parasailer!"

Not even a second after the joke came to my mind, my dad looks over and says "I only see one!"

Great minds think alike.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Arrent
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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