A list of puns related to "Politicians"
The letter f
Because you don't run with scissors
All of them.
One to dream it up, and the rest to fcuk it up.
The waiter walks over and asks for the order.
The politician says what they would like, before adding, "But when it's ready, just give me a shout and I'll bring it to my table."
"Bring it to your table?" replies the staggered waiter. "But that is my job."
"Yes, because I'm only interested in serving myself."
If they survive, the vaccine is safe.
If they don't, the country is safe.
That they're politicool...
Im biased but i think its genius
He’s in the pocket of big pants.
Pander Bears
The Al Gore rhythm
Yet they often call for sweeping reforms.
I guess our government has a problem with crohnyism.
Must be the Al gore rhythm.
Pro-state cancer
Constipation. They are always full of shit.
He was Satired'
"Greetings, comrade." says the spy, but before he could finish his sentence, the Russian says, "I think you are American spy."
The spy is alarmed, but being a skilled, trained, spy, he says, "That is not true! I am the proudest Soviet there is! I can sing the anthem more beautifully than any other man in the country!"
He then proceeds to sing the Soviet anthem, so melodically and beautifully, that everybody in the bar cheers.
"Very good, very good!" says the politician. "But I still think you are spy."
The man continues to keep his cool.
"I am a historian! I can tell you everything about this glorious country!"
He then spends about two hours recounting the Revolution, the Great Patriotic War, about how superior to the Russia is in terms of technology compared to America and makes a great argument about how communism is beneficial to society.
"Amazing! You are skilled!" says the politician.
The spy smirks.
"But I still think you American spy."
The spy is getting frustrated, but still unfazed.
He replies, "I am good drinker, a true Russian! Let us drink, and see who can come out top!"
The bar turns its attention to the politician and the spy, who are now in a drinking contest.
The bartender serves drink after drink of vodka.
After about an hour of drinking, the politician nearly passes out, unable to hold as much liquor as the spy, to a resounding cheer amongst the bar.
In the midst of the cheering, the Russian politician gets up, smiling, and in a slurred speech, repeats, "You are good, you are good... but I still think you are spy."
The American spy, piss drunk, loses his skill and gives up.
"Okay, you got me. I am an American. But what made you think that way, after all this time?"
The Russian politician replies, "There aren't many black people in Russia."
The F
I was just sitting around doing nothing.
The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.
Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.
As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."
As the gobsmacked gal with mouth agape slowly raised her eyes to her grinning dinner guest's face, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "squid pro quote".
Required Explanation: "squid pro quote" is a play on words for the saying "quid pro quo", a Latin phrase meaning "something for something". In the news at the time of this posting a tremendous amount of discussion is being circulated about whether or not US president Trump dangled a quid pro quo offer in front of Ukraine's newly elected president, Volodymyr Zelensky. The deal had nothing to do with seafood however, so that was just a red herring. It should also be noted that Mr. Zelensky, before diving into politics, was a stand-up comedian.
Imagine if she was Fulltime-Cortez!
Platform shoes!
It was quite the squid pro glow!
They're good at pulling strings.
They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
If they don't go back and fix their mistakes, they're letting the Errorists win. But if they do fix mistakes, they're being Eracist.
They get taller!
Because 20/20 vision means you have perfectly good sight.
Pun on a pun: I wonder if RealClearPolitics.com will catch on.
Their goto is to switch statements.
because they always act on aMotion.
Deep down, they are good people.
He suffered from Electile dysfunction.
He refused to step down!
Nigel Fromage
He really opened a lot of young minds!
He had very good arrrrrguments.
Treesa May.
She ran for mare.
You walk for office!
I think it’s maoware.
If they survive the vaccine is safe but if they don't the country is safe
He’s in the pocket of big pants.
Pro-state cancer
The F.
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