Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Pleasantly prepared punchline! The Argyle Sweater for 5/13/21
I went to the beekeeper to get a dozen bees. When he gave me the bag, I counted 13, so I said “oops, you gave me an extra-“
He said “Nah, that’s a freebie”
Wild Falcons live to be about 13. So all the Falcons in the wild today were born in the 21st Century.
They're Millennial Falcons
My lumberjack friend told me that he'd cut down a total of 13,207 trees.
When I asked how he managed to keep count,
He replied, "I keep a log"
What did Curt Cobain say when he opened a 13 year old bottle of vodka?
So with the new iPhone 13’s coming out this year they decided to change the charger name
It’s now called Apple Juice
Being a teen can be a very challenging, especially when you turn 13.
You're in your prime and everything feels very odd
9 months from now, there will be a baby boom. 13 years later, will give rise to the next generation, known as....
I got lazy, but here are day 11, 12 and 13 of Dadvent!
A man goes to a beekeeper and asks for 12 bees. He counts, and sees he has been given 13....
“Sir, you gave me an extra!” he says. The beekeeper replies “Oh, that’s a freebie”
My son learned how to drive at 13
I think he's really going places
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter. “That’s one too many!” says the customer.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
From my 13 y/o son
He’s trying to cut a panini sandwich and said “This knife is not gonna cut it.“
What do I think about the number 13?
Went to the pet store and ordered a dozen bees. I noticed that the clerk gave me 13...
so I asked if that was a free bee. He replied, "No, that's called a baker's dozen. If you spent less time reading reposts on Reddit, you would know that."
13 of my BEST Jokes
I used to be addicted to soap but ... I am clean now.
I am addicted to brake fluid but ... I can stop anytime.
If you are attacked by a group of clowns ... go for the juggler.
I just moved and IMMEDIATELY after we move in he starts banging on my door every night yelling at me ... coincidentally I just happen to be playing my drums those nights so I could easily tune him out.
I was just diagnosed with colorblindness ... It came right out of the purple.
I failed math so many times at school ... I can’t even count.
Once i threw a boomerang, it never came back, ... Now I live in CONSTANT fear
When life gives you melons ... you might be dyslexic.
Most people are shocked when they find out how bad I am as an electrician.
My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline ... She hit the ceiling!
There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count ... and those who can't
They say three out of five people suffer from diarrhea ... so ... does that mean two out of five enjoy it?
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather ... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Nothing’s better than being 2, 3, 5, 7, 11, 13, 17, 19, 23, 29, 31, 37, 41, 43, 47, 53, 59, 61, 67, 71, 73, 79, 83, 89, or 97 years old
Those are the years you’re in your prime
My son just told his first dad joke at 13 and I’m so proud
So my kids are clearing the dishes after dinner, it’s their job every day. My daughter was scraping all the scraps in the bin, which contained some food.
Son: “Jeze Lauren you need to be more considerate, every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes”....
Ded 💀
My 13-year-old told me he has an ant bite.
I asked if he has an Uncle Chew.
He hasn't acknowledged me in half an hour.
I can't stop laughing.
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.
A scientist walks into a lab to pick up a dozen beakers for a new experiment he’s been working on, and the lab clerk hands him 13 upon his arrival. “13?”, the scientist asks, “I wanted a dozen!”
The lab clerk says “I thought you wanted a beakers dozen!”
When a feline turns 13 they're 65 in cat years, so that means they are eligible for MediCare.
What do Jewish dogs do at 13?
They have a Bark Mitzvah.
What do you call a 13 year old muslim stuck in self isolation?
What do you call a kid that turns 13 during lockdown?
What happens to cars when they turn 13 years old?
after being around my dad for 13 years i finally came up with my first dad joke!
what do you say to a potassium based fruit that keeps stealing stuff!? Stop with your banana-gins!
Every time I buy a dozen bees from the bee keeper , he’ll give me 13
He sure does enjoy giving freebees
Why do chickens like 13-19 year olds?
My order of a dozen bees came with 13 bees
When I called customer service about it they said, “ oh that’s just a freebie.”
My buddy John gave his size 13 boots to his little brother, Phil. Problem is, Phil wears size 9.
John left large shoes to Phil.
I asked for 12 bees at my local pet store. The owner gave me 13 bees. I said “you’ve given me 1 to many!” The owner said...
...”That one is a freebie!”
Not even from me, but from a 13 year old who can dad joke with the best.
Actual scenario:
Me-“I can’t find my phone.”
Him-“have you checked your butt? Because I hear it can store a bunch of crap.”
What do you call someone who is 13 during the coronavirus pandemic?
Did you hear about the rock star who broke a 13 year old out of jail?
What do you call kids aged 13-19 who have Coronavirus?
Alligators can grow up to 13 feet.
Most, however, only have 4.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
My wife got into body building about 13 weeks ago.
We find out if it's a boy or a girl in a couple more weeks.
TV Narrator* This is a mallard. A mallard is a dabbling duck that breeds throughout the world. This one is in search of a mate. A female will lay 8 to 13 eggs.
I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees.He counted and gave me 13.
"Sir, you gave me an extra." That's a freebie.
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
I went to the beekeeper and asked for 12 bees, he gave me 13...
That's a free-bee be said.
I went to the beekeeper to get a dozen bees. They gave me 13.
The extra one was a free bee.
I went to the apiary for a dozen bees, and the beekeeper gave me 13.
The last one was a freebie.
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