I don't get it (Puns Daily calendar)
I like German sausage, but its puns are the wurst.
Don't be bitter about dank puns. Danke. Bitte.
Its punning on a whole new level.
Pun enters room, kills 10 people. Pun in, ten dead. GET IT, PUN IN TEN DEAD
Southwest steps up its pun game
I met a girl on Reddit and it ended in Pokemon puns
A few days ago I met a really cool girl on Reddit and then this happened. I asked and she is ok with me sharing it.
Puns here: https://imgur.com/a/8BOsNgn
Forgive my spelling but it was like 6am
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25 You know why?
I certainly soap you like it.
Went to GameStop to use the bathroom, but it was out of order...
I guess I have to keep holding it.
My best friend gave me this today because I'm obsessed with pigs & it is the best card I've ever gotten.
reddit.com/gallery/lkaalp
I can’t believe it’s not butter!
My wife gave me an ultimatum. It was either her or my addiction to sweets.
The decision was a piece of cake.
Ima start spelling weed oui’d cos I can’t say no to it
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
... and as you can see, they were Wright
Just realised it’s Pancake Day....
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
How many mexicans does it need to change a light bulb ?
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and mumbled, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
I admit it’s a repost, but this pun is just a sin... Please let me know if you get it!!!
It's an engineering dysfunction.
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
I met a beautiful cactus today, so I told it, " you're looking sharp today ".
" I'm just a cactus " , it said. " You have a point there ", I replied.
I have a pencil that used to belong to William Shakespeare. He chewed it a lot.
Now, I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B!
It’s funny cause it’s true.
From r/askreddit's thread "If your sex life was a country, what country would it be and why?"
How does a penguin build its house
My printer was making music so I checked it out.
I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No…”
My computer broke, and my boss told me to take it to the IT guy
So I went outside and threw it in the sewer
Fun fact: Every dictionary has at least 1 mistake in it!
In the M section, right after mist.
Thanks HAI
Saw this one in Walmart, it’s a baby shirt!!
It is rumored that the worst secretaries have typo blood.
What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
I took the shell off of my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.
But if anything, it made him more sluggish.
I tried dating a communist, but it didn’t work out.
There were too many red flags.
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