Is the Capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-vil or Loo-ee-vil?

It is pronounced Frankfort.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marycartlizer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2015
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I once traveled to the Middle East, and suddenly, someone threw a rock at me.

I ran.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/csteinbergrules
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2021
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A Brush with Death
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πŸ‘€︎ u/butlerbert23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
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Which beverage is the best, when you have COVID?

A Cough-ee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/geek_gamer_7
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2021
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My mom says my dad was of Persian origin.

Ee-ran away when I was a child.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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DadHelp wanted: more variants for "interrupting cow" knock-knock joke to amuse kids

Everyone knows the interrupting cow knock knock joke but we like making up KKJs for other cows. Here are some of ours; please add more so I can continue to surprise and delight the young people near and dear to me. TIA!

(Obviously each joke goes "Knock knock" etc. I'll just write the "cow" part and the punchline)

  • French cow: le moo

  • Backwards cow: oom

  • Upside down cow: woo

  • Sad cow: moo hoo hoo

  • Ghost cow: moo-oo-oo-oooo

  • Police cow: moo ee oo ee oo ee oo

  • Cow on a motorbike: (make zooming moo)

  • Cow in disguise: Baa

  • Horse in disguise: Moo

  • Invisible cow: (quickly cover child's eyes) Moo

  • Inaudible cow:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A2S2020
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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What do we call a monster we can't find ?

Where wolf

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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What do sick people drink in the mornings?

Cough-eeβ˜•β˜•β˜•

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSGaming0416
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
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My stepdad at Buc-ees

Bucees is a huge truck stop/gas station/everything station in Texas. My stepdad and I walked up the counter to purchase what we had. Upon getting up to the counter, the cashier asks, "Got gas?" My stepdad looks at her and replies, "Nope. Actually, I feel pretty good today."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cameron0208
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2014
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Thanksgiving afterthoughts, anyone? instagram.com/p/BNN7YPIDv…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big_dig69
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
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My five-year-old came up with this one: "What does Daddy drink when he has a bad cough?"

"Coffee. Get it? Cough-ee."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blinkle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2017
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What did the sick person order at Starbucks?

Coughee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imthaaatguy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
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How is an amateur singer like someone carrying a basket of eggs?

They both Carry-Yolk-Ee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HonoluluSolo
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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I've used this on my kids and my students. Makes me laugh every time. They laugh some of the time.

Person is having a coughing fit...cough cough hack cough cough.

Me: "maybe you shouldn't drink so much...(pause)...coughee.

(Hilarity ensues, at least for me.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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I try to encourage my wife to come up with her own mom jokes. So when she asked me to make one up regarding wood, I got a little upset.

"Cedar, that's what I'm talking about. Its not oak-ee doke to take credit for what wood be my joke. Every bodhi has to create their own." I told her. Didn't mean to chop her down like that in hindsight. I hope she still pines after me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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What's Yoda's surname?

LeyEeWhoo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xdegenerate
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2018
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What do you call a deer in a twister?

http://imgur.com/eeYimlT

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaboose286
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2015
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What do you call the bees found in America?

USB(ee)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blue_Snake
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
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(US version) Why do companies like AT&T and Verizon do well?

They cell phones.

(Uk version) Why do companies like EE and O2 ban women called Maureen’s from stores?

Because MO BUY ALL (mobile) phones.

I work in a phone shop so I may have found these funnier than I should have

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-E-Droflah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2017
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What drink always has a cold?

Cough-ee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/canadiain
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2018
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Got my son while he was cooking breakfast this morning

My son asked me "Where's the chili powder?"

I replied "Right next to the Argentina powder."

To his credit, he slitted his eyes and intoned "I said 'chill-EE' powder, not 'chill-AY' powder, Dad."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zamoose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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Bought myself some invisible tape
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2017
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After 24 years, I finally won a pun battle with him!

http://imgur.com/wEePwS7

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nolljosh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2016
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Disnep

The other day i was watching a movie with my 7y old daughter..

The Disney logo appears and i say to her: 'Hey, Look it's Disnep

She says: 'No daddy, The P must be pronounced as a Y'

Next screen is the 'Yixar Logo'..

The look on her face... Yriceless* (thnx wikoff)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zipperke
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2017
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I was handing the wife a copy of Entertainment Weekly...

..and I said "this is Strange.."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurtleLoMein
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2016
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Courtesy of my Grandad

Have you heard about Yorkshire Police finding teenagers injecting ecstasy into just above their teeth?

It's called 'Ee-by-gum'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alysmaee
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
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So we got two rats for my little sister and my dad wanted to name them.

He called the first one 'rata-one-ee' and the other 'Ratatouille'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smeagol260
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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Coffee went down the wrong tube at breakfast.

Hey dad are you alright?

Yeah, but that sure was some strong cough-ee!

DAD!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/germsburn
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2015
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My buddy will make a great dad

I was having coffee with a buddy of mine when I took a huge sip and had a coughing fit. As soon as I was done, without missing a beat, he looks at me in the eye with a massive grin and says, "That's why they call it coff-ee!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Halicus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2014
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What do you drink when you have a cold?

Cough-ee

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K3lp_Boy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2015
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