I heard that sweetened milk and egg yolks are getting a divorce

Apparently they're mixed up in a custardy battle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCokeDaKilla
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.

So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ajellysandwich
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
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New Yolk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NebulaDraws
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2020
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No yolk, I can make the best egg white omelette.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sheineken
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
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Do Your Wurst. Food Pun Haters, The Yolk's On You (I hope this is allowed) npr.org/sections/thesalt/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KermitMadMan
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Egg yolk tries to scramble back to safety v.redd.it/i0z1tcciw3k21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shadow-_-king
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Dad says egg whites are no yolk.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Why does Tom demand his egg cooked with a perfectly circular yolk?

Because he's eggcentric

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Disrupturous
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2018
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Have you heard the news about Thom Yolk...?

In time for Easter, Thom Yolk from Radioegg is just about to drop a new albumin.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Two eggs are sharing yolks, what does one egg say to the other?

I'm cracking up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/msaldierna315
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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Used this on my cousin this weekend... he didn't appreciate my yolk imgur.com/cz2eWOk
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samoerai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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Sandwich shop employee asked what kind of egg I want (without specifying white or with yolk)

"Chicken, please"

My family had to respond to her confused look, assuring her I was pulling her leg.

Note: not a dad yet, but I'm training to be one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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At least he won't turn over in his grave.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rainbowarriorhere
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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I've placed simultaneous orders for a rotisserie chicken on Uber Eats, and for an egg omelette on DoorDash

Looks like we're about to find out, once and for all, what comes first!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneReddit123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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I have a joke about an egg.

I'm gonna crack it soon.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2021
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At least he got laid before he died
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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I found a parasite in my Easter basket who tried telling me there was no God.

It was an egg ganache tick

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PenguinWithAglock
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2021
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You’ve gotta be yolking me
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πŸ‘€︎ u/niko5253
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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Are you eggcited for the yolking around, but because it's my first post here, I'm walking on eggshells about posting this, I just hope it says up because the title is eggstremely long.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manulad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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What is Goofy's favorite part of the egg?

"A yolk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmusser_01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They would crack eachother up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bon-Echo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
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This egg is yolked
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πŸ‘€︎ u/REdd1212
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
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Why was Humpty Dumpty referred to a psychiatrist?

He had cracked up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/decentname99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2021
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What happens to an egg every time you look at it?

It becomes egg sighted

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hamadaeleleimy
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Police were questioning an egg

He couldn’t say anything, he was scrambling for words.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What’s the worst thing about being an egg?

You only get laid once.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
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This is eggcellent!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/venomWolf11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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Wellthat was un eggspected
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sriramempire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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My kids said I need to stop with the egg jokes, because they’re not funny.

Yolk’s on them, I crack myself up!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tehmayormccheese
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What do ya call a fictional book about eggs?

A yolk-tale :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beanerboysk8r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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What do you get when you crack a rooster’s egg?

A dad yolk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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What happened to the egg that kept going to the gym?

It got yolked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ConradFlick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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My wife got me good and there was nothing I could do

I was playing with our toddler when for whatever reason Humpty Dumpty popped in my head. I started trying to think of a funny rhyme about Dumpty cracking open and being unable to pay for US medical care and thus now lives a pain-addled, poor life. Yeah, idk.

Anyway, I couldn’t think of the original second half of the rhyme and so I asked my wife. She told me the rhyme and I said thanks. After a short silence goes by she goes,

β€œWhat are you doing, trying to think of another lame dad yolk?”

I didn’t know my son had two dads but I know now

Edit: typos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BoutTreeeFiddy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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Can we not make any egg related dad jokes on this sub

They are uneggceptable

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffeemist90881
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Egg: If you take me seriously, you'll leave my shell intact and not remove my whites. Me: *Breaks Egg and removes whites*

Egg: Am I a yolk to you?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goddred
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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I was going to tell a pun about eggs

But nobody would get the yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElliotNunstedt
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2020
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My eggs went to the playground without my permission today.

But omelette it slide

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leon_Waffles
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?

Because they crack each other up!

(I’m β€˜yolking’ πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I cracked open an egg and all this yellow goo came out.

I was like: is this some kind of yolk?!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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This sub is full of eggs

We all have the same yolks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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My daughter wanted to know how to make an omelet...

But I couldn't eggslpain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/l_a_z_y_b_u_g
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Hit me with breakfast puns

Because i feel my life’s becoming a yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinia4labari
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
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Did you hear the one about egg whites?

Never mind, you wouldn't get the yolk.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgold0
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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Separating eggs...

Is no yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peter7542
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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